All stories need a beginning. Mine sort of has two – or is a story of two halves.
In 1988, at the tender age of 20 I became a medical statistic twice in the space of a few months. The first time was the result of a cervical smear and consisted of a colposcopy examination, a biopsy and cryotherapy treatment, followed by annual smear tests for five years. Unpleasant but necessary. If left untreated the cells would have become cancerous. At that time cervical smears were offered to any women who were sexually active but nowadays only women between the age of 25 and 64 are invited to attend regular screenings. In England, since 2008 girls and boys aged 12 to 13 years have been routinely offered the HPV vaccination. Recent reports claimed that the HPV vaccine is leading to such dramatic reductions in cervical cancer that those who receive it may only need one smear test in their lives.
The same year I discovered a lump in my left breast. It was a fibroadenoma. This is a solid, well defined lump and can be moved around within the breast tissue, hence why they are also commonly known as a ‘breast mouse’. The lump was surgically removed and one of my biggest memories of the time was a group of young student doctors accompanying the consultant on his ward round and being invited to have a ‘feel’! As a shy young student myself I was mortified! Being observed is one thing but basically having your breast fondled so publicly was not an experience I would care to repeat! Happily the lump was confirmed as benign and I was left with a small scar and peace of mind.
Jumping forward to 1993, our family got the news that no daughter, son or husband ever wants to hear. My mum was diagnosed with breast cancer at just 45 years of age. A huge shock for all of us. However, in her usual stoic fashion, she just got on with what she had to do without complaint or hysteria. She underwent a lumpectomy followed by weeks of trips to Brighton for Radiotherapy treatment, continuing to work half days of those appointments like she was just going off to lunch! Once she was given the all-clear, she was put on a hormonal therapy drug called Tomoxifen to reduce the risk of breast cancer coming back and to prevent a new cancer developing in the other breast. She took this drug for the next five years.
My mum discovered an actual lump and was prudent about going to see her GP very quickly and was told it was ‘caught early’. When you think about this, it just shows the importance of being vigilant and not putting off those trips to the doctor. Despite an early diagnosis, it was clearly enough to still warrant a substantial ordeal for my poor mum and to send our family into a very frightening, uncertain new world. You never think it will happen to you. Well, I didn’t back then….
My humble, kind, fun-loving mum was already my hero but the way she handled this horrible situation with such courage and dignity catapulted her to no less than a Queen and Conqueror in my eyes. She didn’t deserve this but who does? The truth is cancer does not discriminate. We are all as vulnerable as each other.
It’s hard to tell if being faced with her own mortality was the reason but my mum continued to fill her life to bursting point by ‘living’ it with all her being, whether it was time with family, riding pillion on my dad’s Harley Davidson, dancing like no-one was watching and so much laughter. She hated missing out on anything concerning her grandchildren, whether it was a school assembly, a dance show or football final. If ‘FOMO’ (fear of missing out) had been an official thing back then, she may well have been the inspiration for it! She just soaked it all up. She was the perfect example of living every day like it might be your last. I know nobody is actually perfect and she could be stubborn and argumentative but to me she was as close to the perfect mother you could get. She was my best friend. Not everyone can say that so I know I was lucky to have her and that’s what inspires me every day. Life is short….
Hoping for a Happy Ever After 