Surprise!

Stepping back a little to Spring 2007, my dad and I organised a surprise party for my mum’s 60th birthday. This was no mean feat! My mum has always said no-one could ever throw her a surprise party because she always organises all the celebrations herself. Well, that was enough for me to rise to the challenge! There were many….my mum rarely missed a trick so we had to be super vigilant. One little slip-up and we could be busted!

There were many after work clandestine meetings in lay-bys to discuss our plans. My dad did pretty well considering he was with my mum far more than anyone else but there were times when we were all together and I couldn’t look at him because he literally does not possess a ‘poker face’. At times he actually winked at me and I don’t mean in any way subtly across the dinner table! Really Dad?!

Despite saying she always organised the parties my mum was adamant she didn’t want to have one for that particular special occasion which was most unusual. That did mean the way was clear for us to do whatever we wanted. Or so we thought….

We arranged to have the party at my house and managed to let everyone know the arrangements. We thought we had it totally in the bag until….she decided at a considerably late stage that she would like a party after all! ‘Just a barbecue’ in her garden. Bugger Bugger Bugger! We had to really think on our feet at that point. I can’t say I’m renowned for my acting skills, in fact I may have inherited my poker face, or lack of, from my dad! A social worker once said to me after a meeting with some particularly tricky participants “I can’t look at you in those meetings Lisa, your face says it all!” Oops! I must have been rolling my eyes out loud again! So I was pretty damned proud of myself when I announced “Dad, have you forgotten already that I’m taking mum out on the Saturday?” cue a look of sheer perplexity on his face at that one, as at this point we had not even discussed our cover story. Not risking allowing him to demonstrate his ability or inability to improvise I proceeded to invent a diversion on the spot! I didn’t have to give any details because of course it was a surprise treat. The surprise being that it didn’t exist! We had however managed to get over our first hiccup. Just….

Then again, she would not let that whole barbecue idea go. “Let’s do it on the Friday then”…..oh dear Lord, as if it wasn’t hard enough organising food for one party, we were heading towards a two-day event! Eventually we talked her round to doing it on the Sunday with frankly quite pathetic reasons – more people will be able to make it, we can have it during the day on a Sunday, Sundays are a better day to have a barbecue….what?! I cringed every time I opened my mouth. I don’t think I was even sure I knew what was going to come out of it.

I also hadn’t prepared myself for all the questions about her ‘surprise’ like what should I wear, do I need to bring my glasses, should I eat before we go? I said yes to the eating one! Doh, what was I thinking? We had organised enough food to feed the whole town and I told her to eat first! (Bangs head against wall).

If we thought that was our only problem we were very much mistaken. The other big challenge was to try to keep her at home as much as possible in the lead up to the big day. Relatives and friends from far and wide would be arriving in town, some very close to their home, and we couldn’t afford the risk of her spotting any of them. Even bringing her to the house for her fake surprise could prove difficult as she could potentially spot familiar cars parked in the street so we had to ask everyone to park far enough away to avoid suspicion.

During the day of the actual party, she was a total nightmare, insisting that she wanted to pop in to ours for a cuppa. I can’t remember what we were doing out but at one point we spotted them both out in their car and ended up stopping to chat to them. We had no choice, mum had spotted us immediately. It’s not often I struggle to talk to anyone and I was certainly never lost for words when it came to my mum but, in that moment, normal conversation (and behaviour) completely eluded me. Amazingly her normally sleuth-like skills for sniffing out a rat must have been having a day off because we only blooming got away with it! Phew!

It’s funny but when you are planning a secret like this there’s always a moment or two when you feel guilty and sorry for the recipient of the surprise. For us this was when mum tried to invite friends and family to her birthday barbecue and ABSOLUTELY NO-ONE was available. Even her beloved sisters. Spookily they all had other ‘plans’. I felt so bad seeing her disappointment and feelings of rejection. Didn’t anyone care that she had a ‘big birthday’ to celebrate? How could they ALL be busy? Little did she know that I had even managed to invite long lost cousins who she hadn’t set eyes on in 25 years! I mean, she was literally about to become the star of her own episode of ‘Surprise Surprise’.

However, this was all beginning to look a bit suspicious so we asked a few people to accept the Sunday barbecue invitation and this seemed to appease her. Unfortunately it didn’t alter the fact that we had to also cater for party number two. Thank goodness for Iceland. The shop that is! We simply didn’t have any energy left to organise a trip away as well…..that would almost certainly have been the straw that broke the camel (and his daughter’s) back!

With our nerves virtually torn to shreds we pulled it off! Her arrival was comedy itself. At the time we regularly had the big gates of our drive locked as the children were young and we don’t have a front or back garden. The whole garden wraps round the house and includes the drive so it was the only way to keep them completely safe when they were playing outside. When the gates are closed our property is completely encased by two metre fence panels, a wall and double gates so it is impossible to see in at pavement level. Everyone was instructed to gather at the far end of the drive and stay quiet. There was one very funny moment when my husband popped his head over the fence, like a meerkat, and came perilously close to being spotted by my mum. He retreated back so fast we all had to stifle our laughter. It was a ‘you had to be there moment’ but, trust me, it was hilarious!

Now, just remember, my fully-fed mum was expecting to be going for a fairly quiet girls night out so we were all a bit apprehensive about her reaction, suddenly being faced with a huge crowd whooping and cheering the moment she poked her head round that gate. I am happy to say she was genuinely surprised and, once over the shock, absolutely delighted. You never know which guests the ‘surprisee’ (made up word but I think it should be made official) is going to spot first. In this case it was a fellow caravanning enthusiast who had travelled down from Milton Keynes with his partner. On seeing him, mum exclaimed “What are you doing here? You said you were busy!” As she soon found out, he wasn’t the only one to be called out on that little white lie!

Dad and I were both pleasantly surprised and in total disbelief when mum told us that she hadn’t suspected a thing! How we did that I’ll never know! Move over Ant and Dec, you’ve got competition!

Suffice it to say, a very good time was had by all. By Jove, I think we did it Daddy!

Back then I said “never again” but now what I’d give to just be able to do it again and again and again. I’ve learned that there’s no such thing as a special birthday because they are all special, simply for the fact that they have happened. So instead of bemoaning the fact that we are a year older on each birthday, let’s celebrate the fact that we are around to commemorate the privilege of being alive and have reached that particular age. It doesn’t have to be a ‘milestone’ age and we don’t need big parties to mark the occasion although I personally don’t think you can beat the buzz of having all your beloved family and friends in one place at the same time and if it takes a party to do it, then hell yeah, let’s partaaaay!!!

In the words of the Romans and their sundials, or if you are more into your music than your ancient history like me, Jools Holland….

“Enjoy yourself, it’s later than you think

Enjoy yourself, while you’re still in the pink

The years go by as quickly as you wink

Enjoy yourself, enjoy yourself, it’s later than you think!”