Life went on and we continued to have some great times as a family, the usual celebrations and days out. To all intents and purposes, life carried on mostly as ‘normal’ aside of mum’s treatment of course. Once diagnosed she seemed to have a lot of her ‘bounce’ back. She was determined not to be deprived of any more of her day-to-day life than possible and remained positive.
In 2010 she began to have some issues with her right eye. Her vision had become very blurry and she had double vision. She ended up having to wear an eye patch. That must have really affected her confidence but she soldiered on in the best way she could. I remember over the Christmas and new year period of that year, my dad made her a sparkly patch covered in shiny glitter. I think it’s the most bling I’d ever seen her wear! She may have actually outdone Gabrielle’s collection of stylish patches on that occasion! We couldn’t decide whether to ask her to sing ‘Dreams’ or ‘Rise’ then we remembered she was tone deaf and we all valued our hearing too much to take the chance! She’d only have sung the wrong words anyway. I’ll always remember as a teenager listening to Wham and mum singing “Wake me up before you go Joe”! I mean surely they were the simplest lyrics you could ever learn….! Peter Kay should have consulted me over this when he did his stand-up about wrongly sung lyrics, I could have saved him so much time and research! Ultimately her vision improved and the eyepatches were no longer needed.
Unfortunately though, in March 2011, she had a new and different challenge to deal with. We had all been at a friend’s birthday party the night before and had a wonderful time. Mum was in good spirits and showed off her jiving skills which always made us all smile. She was like a little pocket rocket spinning around the dance floor at a rate of knots while my dad stood around coolly tapping his foot waiting for her to do a few revolutions, as she hurtled back to him before he set her off in another whirl! Anyone who has ever been at a party with my parents will know exactly what I’m talking about!
The next morning I got a call from my dad with some worrying news. My mum had experienced some paralysis in her face. She had gone to drink a glass of water and it had just ran down her face. She’d lost feeling in one side. They had it checked out and was told it was most likely a Transient ischaemic attack (TIA).
* “A transient ischaemic attack (TIA) or “mini stroke” is caused by a temporary disruption in the blood supply to part of the brain. The disruption in blood supply results in a lack of oxygen to the brain. This can cause sudden symptoms similar to a stroke such as speech and visual disturbance, and numbness or weakness in the face, arms and legs. But a TIA does not last as long as a stroke. The effects last a few minutes to a few hours and fully resolve within 24 hours”
*[www.nhs.uk/conditions/transient-ischaemic-attack-tia]
The first attack was very short lived and she had another similar one not long after that one. That seemed to be it for that period of time.
In April 2011 my husband took me away for a long weekend break to Lanzarote for my birthday. The day we travelled home was my actual birthday and I got a little taste of my own medicine on our return. We were due home early evening and were feeling hungry after landing. We did our usual procrastinating about whether to eat at Gatwick Airport or wait. In the end we had a meal at ‘Giraffe’ before catching the train home. Mum and dad had looked after the children while we were away but we went home first to drop off our luggage before casually sauntering up the road to pick them up. My parents lived less than ten minutes’ walk from our house.
Time was getting on by this point and my husband didn’t seem to be in any hurry. To be fair, he’s NEVER in a hurry! Let’s just say he’s not known for his good timekeeping! If they made them he’d own a watch that said “whatever!”
We eventually arrived and as we walked into my parents’ dining room there were loud cheers of “Happy Birthday!” My mum had got her own back! She had gathered a small group of my close friends and family and organised a surprise get-together in my honour! What a lovely welcome home! Inadvertently my mum had repeated the scenario of her birthday as they had all put on a magnificent buffet! I can’t remember what her reaction to my husband was to our eating a hearty meal only about two hours earlier but he clearly failed in his part of the mission! It was completely unexpected and I felt very special and loved. I will never forget the last ever birthday I spent with my lovely mum. In hindsight, I think she probably knew that….
Sadly, my mum had another attack of paralysis on her face and this one was much more severe and she never recovered from it. It was more like Bell’s Palsy.
Bell’s Palsy is a type of facial paralysis which results in a temporary inability to control the facial muscles on the affected side of the face, resulting from a dysfunction of the 7th cranial nerve. The condition normally affects one side of the face and can last from a number of weeks to a number of years in extreme cases. I have my own theory about this particular aspect of my mum’s condition but I will come back to that.
I just felt so desperately sad for her that, on top of everything else, this happened. The most heartbreaking part of it was that she literally couldn’t smile. Her smile had been beautiful and infectious and she warmed everyone’s hearts with it. Mum had always been stunning and never looked anywhere near her age. She took great pride in her appearance and went to great efforts to always look nice. She was naturally very pretty and wore very little make-up but she constantly experimented with hairstyles and colour. It must have been a devastating experience. If I could have taken one thing away for her then it would have been that.
To be continued….
Hoping for a Happy Ever After 