Since our daughter was a toddler, dancing has been a big part of our lives. She started at a local dance school for baby ballet aged two and a half and danced for the rest of her childhood. We lived in a whirlwind of dance classes, rehearsals, festivals (competitions), shows and showcases. A dancer’s world is also a plethora of costumes, shoes, hair accessories, make-up, Lycra, bows, frills and sequins! It was fun, rewarding and incredibly stressful! She was so disorganised and scatty (still is) and I lost count of the number of hairbrushes, pins and hairnets I had to buy. There was always a strop from at least one of us about forgetting to take something important and having to either go back home or ask someone to pick something up for us or beg and borrow from other dancers.
In class she was her teachers’ worst nightmare! She had potential but was always distracted and a lot of the time she didn’t listen. I was always amazed how she pulled it out of the bag at exam times or on stage but, believe me, there were mortifying moments. Like the time she was in a group called ‘Bakerloo’ which featured songs relating to stations on the London Underground Bakerloo line, such as Baker Street, Warwick Avenue, Waterloo etc. The dance ended with ‘The Lambeth Walk’ in which her costume included a brown skirt with white spots on (which had been painstakingly put on by a very patient costume maker). The dance involved quite a few costume changes and imagine my horror when my daughter appeared on stage wearing a plain brown skirt. She had it on inside out! You could hear the tutting from the dance teacher’s mum who organised the costumes for everyone (and was fierce and didn’t hold back with her opinions!) from a mile off!
However, whatever she lacked in perfection she always made up for in personality and character. She’s always been such a bubbly girl and has a sparkling smile which, personally, I think is more enjoyable to watch than a perfect dancer who doesn’t draw you in. The trouble is, for those festivals it was mostly about technique and synchronisation. Presentation and likability is obviously a factor but unfortunately you need it all to get the top marks.
She took part in a number of festivals throughout the year which were all in the South East. In the early days they included Orpington and Brighton. Brighton Festival was held at the infamous private girls school, Roedean. Unfortunately it was held in the theatre not the main school so we didn’t get to be nosy! Other locations were Hastings, Ore, Tunbridge Wells and Epsom.
My mum used to regularly come along to watch and we would chat ten to the dozen on the journey. The journey became so automatic that once we were chatting away on our way to Epsom and found ourselves at the Dartford Tunnel which was past our junction for turning off the M25! We had no choice but to pay the toll to go through the tunnel, find a route to go back on ourselves and pay again to go over the Queen Elizabeth II bridge! Were we worried? Of course not, we just laughed hysterically! As if it wasn’t bad enough doing that once, we only went and did it another time! What a pair!
I also remember another occasion when we got stuck in a massive queue that came to a standstill due to a bad accident. Initially we didn’t move for quite some time. It was a hot July day and the girls got out and were dancing next to the car! We had two extras travelling with us. There were lots of other parents in the same situation at various points in the hold-up and none of us actually made it in time for the group’s slot because we were sent back in the opposite direction. They actually closed off one of the carriageways and we had to drive the wrong way down it. It was really weird and a bit disconcerting to drive on the wrong side of a major motorway. By that point it would have been an impossible feat to get to the theatre on time.
The dance school had more than its fair share of success due to the amazing talent and hard work of their teacher but she always congratulated her dancers regardless of the result (far from the shenanigans of ‘Miss Abby Lee Miller’ in ‘Dance Moms’ – the Mrs Trunchbull of the dance world!).
There is an annual show called ‘Born to Perform’ which is a mixture of established festival dances and new dances specific to the show. All of the dance pupils are given a chance to take part from the ‘babies’, who always bring such delight at the beginning of the show, to the ‘seniors’ There are months of rehearsals and costume fittings including whole weekends of organised chaos! The children love it and the excitement is off the scale as the show draws closer. On the actual days of the shows they are bursting at the seams to show off their hard work. Parents take turns to chaperone in the dressing rooms and supervise and help younger children with costume changes, as well as keeping the particularly young ones entertained (quietly!) backstage. For the dancers those shows will hold special memories that last forever.
Each year the school holds a ‘showcase’ for families to attend. There is always a line of several tables weighed down with the trophies and cups achieved that year. The programmes are a selection of dances that won or were placed at various festivals and consisted of solos, duets, small and big groups of various ages. There is also a prize-giving ceremony where medals and cups are awarded to acknowledge different achievements such as perseverance, endeavour, personality, most improved and so on.
Some of the cups are donated and dad and I thought it would be nice to have one in mum’s memory. So in 2013 we chose a nice little silver cup and named the award after her as a memorial with her name engraved on it. It felt like a very fitting tribute after all the years of being part of her beloved grand-daughter’s dance journey.
When she started at secondary school our daughter got involved in the school productions. An ex-West End performer led most of the productions that she took part in and she had an incredible experience learning from a true professional. They did Sweeney Todd, Oklahoma, Jesus Christ Superstar and Grease to name a few. With a taste of the wider musical theatre world she took GCSE performing Arts and was awarded the ‘Music and Performance’ cup at her Year 11 prize-giving ceremony. A very proud moment.
When it came to choosing her college course I have to admit we did have a bit of a battle. She wanted to do the Level 3 Diploma in Performing Arts but I felt that A’Levels would give her wider opportunities in the future. We had many an argument over this with her exclaiming “You don’t believe in me!” and “You don’t think I’m good enough!” etc. On the contrary I believed in her greatly and my reasoning was what I thought was in her best interests. I worried that performers often have long periods of being out of work, lots of disappointment and a low income if work isn’t consistent. However, it was her choice not mine and she was set on doing it. In the end, she had a ball! She loved every minute of the two years, achieved distinctions across the board and had the time of her life. Nothing could take that away from her. She took it all very seriously and worked extremely hard. The performances we went to watch her in were all fantastic. Our highlight was when she had the main role of ‘Cinderella’ in the Christmas pantomime. She looked so beautiful on the stage and sang like an angel. I know, I’m completely biased but I was so proud.
I can now see the benefits of this type of course and how it helps to build up some really good skills. I’ve heard that employers like ‘performers’ because they are confident and resilient. She has proved this time and time again in her work life. She worked for two years in a residential home for adults with learning disabilities. She had amazing relationships with the residents and they loved her energy and zest for fun. At the same time she took her role seriously and tended to their specific needs working her way up to a senior role with additional responsibilities. She now cares for children with complex medical needs, certainly a job that requires a special kind of person with bucket loads of patience, care, empathy and commitment.
She may not have pursued a career in the entertainment world but it will never be a waste. Nothing can take away the wonderful experiences she had. The camaraderie amongst the dancers was something to behold. They were like a second family and had so much fun together. She didn’t have a lot of time for anything else but she was constantly active and not hanging about the streets aimlessly during her young teenage years. I always knew she was safe and doing what she loved.
At just under 5’ 2” she is petite and I wouldn’t say she is particularly elegant or demure (I think she would agree!) but she has a wonderful posture and a lovely straight back. With three brothers she had to be tough and a bit of a tomboy. Having said that I think she struggled with which she would rather be at times. I distinctly remember at the age of around three taking her into town with me and she was dressed in a pink fairy costume and ‘Action Man’ wellies! As for her physical capabilities, she was fiercely determined and could climb huge trees from a young age with little fear or awareness of risk! Her height rarely deterred her from being able to join in either. We used to regularly take all the children to the big theme parks and she was such a daredevil, wanting to go on all the big scary rides, so much so that once she wore ‘Heelys’ (the trainers with wheels in the soles) to reach the minimum height requirement on the measuring sticks at each ride!
Hobbies are a wonderful way to promote discipline and confidence but are mostly intended to be enjoyable. I have no doubt that this goal was achieved in spades. Her dance journey brought us all, but particularly me and my mum, endless hours of pleasure.
“Dance like nobody’s watching” – Satchel Paige.
Hoping for a Happy Ever After 