I had already taken my first step towards a bit of normality when I returned to work in the last week of March 2021, one week before the Easter holidays. As I knew I would be taking more sick leave at some point it was decided that I would not pick up my full caseload for the time being. It can be very confusing for the network around the child if they don’t know who they should be liaising with so I stayed in the background and the staff cover remained as it was until such time as I could fully take the cases back on. I had some online training to get on with, supervision of my allocated caseworker and some specific projects to keep me busy.
Since taking on my new role as Education Support Officer back in October 2021 I’d had very little chance to get into the role. My head teacher allocated a family to me who were very complex. They were six siblings with a gypsy/Roma background who had all been taken into care but were not all in the same care placement. Their education history was full of gaps and it was difficult to determine their academic ability in terms of chronological age. Understandably they also struggled to manage school, finding it hard to fit in the mainstream environment and the older girls were fiercely defensive of their traveller heritage and lifestyle. This led to regular altercations in school and difficulty regulating their emotions, often resulting in exclusions. It was a difficult piece of work and remains ongoing nine months on. They have now had several different placements and the older girls have also had regular ‘missing’ episodes, having absconded from their placements. Two of the girls had been placed with a very experienced carer who was rarely phased by the extreme behaviours of the young people in her care. However, tragically the foster carer was taken ill very suddenly and was admitted to hospital. She was diagnosed with bacterial Meningitis and had to be put into an induced coma. Sadly she passed away. It was a huge shock for everyone as many of us had worked with this lady for years and had a huge amount of respect for her. She was brilliant to work with and left a massive void in the fostering team who were all incredibly sad. Although the two girls had only been in the placement for a short time, the affect on them would have been equally as devastating for them. As if they hadn’t already had enough trauma in their lives. They of course had to be moved again and the pattern continued where they put themselves at risk again and again.
“Diversity is about having a seat at the table. Inclusion is having a voice. Belonging is having that voice be heard.” – Liz Fosslien.
I also had (and still have) a number of particularly complex young people on my caseload who I took back for a few weeks. It meant that the caseworkers who had been covering for me could have a breather as they all had their own busy caseloads and some of these young people take up a huge chunk of everyone’s time.
As it turned out I was able to return for almost the whole of the next two terms taking my next period of sick leave just one week short of the summer break. During that time I picked up a couple of my cases where the young people were placed out of county and I attended a few online meetings. I was also able to attend some meetings for digital projects and felt that I made a contribution to those. It was nice to be back but also felt a bit strange. It was like being a ‘ghost’, there but not fully there! My ‘out of office’ assistant stated that I was working but in a reduced capacity so that other professionals were aware of my situation, not necessarily the full reason as I didn’t want to talk about it to everyone. I told a few people who I work very closely with but otherwise I didn’t tell people exactly what was going on for me. That was another reason we agreed on my role for that time as my managers understood that it might be difficult for me if people asked questions that I preferred not to answer at that time. Our meetings can be very stressful and emotional and I wasn’t feeling as mentally robust as I normally would. After 17 years I was used to listening to and being part of difficult and unpleasant discussions but there are times when it’s hard to fight the emotions. I am human after all and you’d have to be a very hard person to never be affected by the suffering of the children and young people we work with.
“Instead of raising children who turn out okay despite their childhood, let’s raise children who turn out extraordinary because of their childhood” – L.R.Knost (author of Two Thousand Kisses a Day: Gentle Parenting Through the Ages & Stages).
I was still in limbo in terms of not having a date for surgery but I was in a better state physically to get out a bit and catch up with friends. It was also an opportunity to spend some time enjoying tea and cake at my beach hut, chatting in the sunshine and getting my much needed dose of ‘vitamin sea’! I had a few meals out and one day a friend treated a few of us with a free pass for a morning in the spa at Bannatynes Health Club followed by lunch.
My husband and I had tickets to see Corinne Bailey Rae at the Dela Warr Pavilion on 3rd May and I’d been doubtful that we would be able to go but, due to the delays, we managed to see her. She was amazing, as always.
We had booked a few nights away at the end of June to celebrate our 30th wedding anniversary. We had never been to the Lake District and I found a very cute little wooden camping pod in the woods in Heaves, near Keswick. It looked like the perfect place to get away from it all and just relax. However, as time moved and fearing that I was likely to have had my operation quite close to that date we decided to change it and instead booked to go in early August. The Air Bnb host was very accommodating and moved the date for us. It was still something to focus on and look forward to.
“Life itself is a privilege, but to live life to the fullest- well, that is a choice.” – Andy Andrews (author of ‘The Traveler’s Gift, 2002).
Hoping for a Happy Ever After 