I had approximately seven weeks until my mastectomy and reconstruction surgery and I certainly made the most of it!
The first thing was a one-night only camping trip we had planned with all of our immediate family plus my brother-in-law, our two nieces and their families. The idea was that we could all spend some quality time together just chilling out and with no-one having to do a long journey home at the end of the evening. For us it was very local, just a few miles up the road at a rural campsite called ‘Little Downash’ in Hailsham. The setting is idyllic with a small lake and surrounded by beautiful countryside. We booked fully-equipped bell tents which were all together and the owners had organised all the pallet furniture into a square so we had a communal outside sitting area. There were also two barbecues and three fire pits!
The trip had been booked for a while and no-one had realised it would be the same time as the Champions League Final – Liverpool vs Real Madrid. Oops! As Liverpool supporters (and generally big football fans) this was not a good thing. So what did my husband do? Well, he was straight on to Amazon and purchased a ‘Jackery’, a portable power generator – of course! I can’t bring myself to say how much it cost! So they also transported a laptop and a large TV and rigged it all up in the boot of my nephew’s estate car!
First though we cooked on the barbecue and played a couple of games. One was the ‘spot’ game which was played throughout the evening. It consists of renaming everyone present and requires coloured stickers in the shape of spots. From the start of the game you are no longer allowed to refer to anyone by their actual name. Everyone had a label with their new name on. I was ‘Fanny’ and my husband was ‘Dick’! Other names were Wally, Willie, Boris, Marge, Maud….you get the gist! Every time you call someone by the wrong name you have to wear a coloured spot on your face! The kids thought it was hilarious! We were all very spotty….
The second game was suggested by me but had an ulterior motive behind it. Our son had announced on holiday in April that his girlfriend was pregnant but it was still being kept under wraps as she had found out so early in the pregnancy. The majority of us knew but we had not told my dad nor one of my nieces (who was also expecting). We were worried one of us might slip up and mention it so they agreed to the others knowing. I came up with the idea of playing ‘2 lies and a truth’ – a spin on ‘2 truths and a lie’. You will understand why we changed it when you read on! Everyone was warned in advance to think of their three statements and we went round one at a time deciding which of the three statements was in fact true. Our son was the last to play. He stated that 1) he and his girlfriend had booked a trip to India 2) that his girlfriend always dyes his beard for him and 3) they were having a baby. Surprisingly the answers were closely analysed! The first one was dismissed but there was quite a big debate about the dyeing of his facial hair! Then the penny dropped….my niece started screaming “Oh my Gosh, you’re having a baby!” I hadn’t told anyone else that this was the reason we were playing the game so they weren’t expecting a cryptic announcement either! I don’t think any of us will ever forget how that news was delivered to the rest of the family! Well, apart from my dad who took his time to click….bless him! He had no idea what was going on and we still had to actually tell him!
In typical British camping style, it started to rain just as the match started. Did it stop us watching though? Of course not, we had tarpaulin to protect the electrical equipment (not sure that would have passed any health and safety assessments) and we all had raincoats and umbrellas! The little ones amused themselves most of the evening with glow sticks and enjoying the freedom of all the space! Sadly the weather was indicative of the result with Liverpool conceding a goal in the 59th minute and losing 1-0. “Hey ho, it’s only a game!”… said no Liverpool supporter in my house ever! The mood wasn’t completely spoilt though. One thing I can say about football in our household is that they genuinely move on and don’t dwell on it.
Despite several layers of clothing and blankets, it was a very chilly night in the tent! However, the next morning was blessed with glorious sunshine and a stupendous full English breakfast! There were a couple of sore heads but the clearing up was a good joint effort and didn’t feel like a chore as we all mucked in. The campsite is in a beautiful peaceful area (until we arrived….!) and there were a couple of paddocks with ponies in, including tiny little Shetland ponies, one no bigger than a large dog! We were able to see them from a gate and they ambled over for some fuss much to the delight of the little ones. All-in-all it was a wonderful weekend in a perfect setting.
“The best days are when you don’t need anything extreme or special to make it great. You just appreciate and enjoy what is and that’s perfect enough.” – Amber Rae (writer, illustrator and speaker).
I also had a chance to go to the theatre a couple of times during that ‘grace’ period, one of my greatest pleasures. A large group of us went to see the hit musical ‘Six’ and it was amazing! It’s so dynamic and energetic as well as funny. An absolute genius way of telling the story of Henry VIII’s wives.
I had tickets to see ‘Mary Poppins’ in the West End in early 2022 with my best friend but unfortunately it was booked for 14th January which was only 9 days after my lumpectomy so sadly we had to cancel. We got a refund and waited to reschedule until we knew I would definitely be able to go. We finally went in June and had a lovely day in London. We had amazing seats in the stalls and the show was every bit as spectacular as we had hoped it would be.
“When the world turns upside down, the best thing to do is turn right along with it.” – Mary Poppins
I also had an unexpected invite to go to ‘Abba Voyage’ at the purpose built Abba Arena at the Queen Elizabeth Olympic Park in Pudding Mill Lane, East London. Sadly my cousin had Covid and couldn’t go so I was offered the ticket. If you haven’t heard of this event it is a virtual concert with virtual avatars depicting the group as they appeared in 1977. The digital versions of ABBA have been created with the four band members wearing ‘motion capture’ suits and the deployment of 160 cameras. It is absolutely insane and almost impossible to describe – seeing is believing! It’s so lifelike you really feel like they are all on the stage in front of you whereas, effectively, you are looking at an empty stage. In fact you’re not even looking at a stage, you’re looking at hundreds of square feet of LED walls. Despite that, it is a completely immersive experience. The members of ABBA are in full 3D. They can turn, pass in front of each other, and are fully formed. But on stage they are a flat 2D image on a 65-million pixel giant LCD (Liquid-Crystal Display). There is a 10-piece live band and backing singers alongside the group’s voices. There are even screens up on either side of the stage so you have an opportunity to really scrutinise the images. We were in awe, it was so clever. Apparently, the project is one of the most expensive live music experiences in history, with a budget of $175 million! At the end of the show we got very excited as the band ‘as they are now’ came on stage to take a bow…..or so we thought! We were screaming “Look, it’s really them!” It wasn’t! That’s how convincing it was. Whether or not you are an Abba fan, I would highly recommend going to this just to witness the phenomenon of technology involved. It’s a unique experience but I wouldn’t be surprised if we don’t have a chance to see the likes of The Beatles, Elvis Presley or David Bowie in this way in future productions….
“What would life be? Without a song or dance what are we? So I say thank you for the music. For giving it to me” – Benny Andersson & Björn Ulvaeus
Another highly significant event during that time was the Queen’s Platinum Jubilee, the first British monarch to ever achieve this. We joined the rest of the nation in celebrating 70 years of Queen Elizabeth II serving as our head of state. In terms of how we would spend our day was a no-brainer – family, friends, beach hut, food and drink! I had messaged my beach hut ‘neighbours’ asking if others wanted to celebrate together and a few did. We all did our own thing but shared the atmosphere of the day. We had a traditional British spread of food – sandwiches, sausage rolls, Victoria Sponge, strawberries and cream and so on! As always I went to town on the theme and we had Union Jack napkins, a large Union Jack flag flying from the roof of the hut, ‘Jubilee’ strawberry flavoured gin and a commemorative tin of cookies shaped like a castle from good old M&S, red white and blue bunting (crocheted by me) and even a box of Buckingham Palace tissues! The star of the show though was Her Majesty herself! A couple of the girls who work for my husband had made a lifesize cutout of the Queen and smaller ones of her Corgis! They had researched her actual height and printed off sections of a photo, precisely joined them all up and mounted them on to cardboard! It was absolutely brilliant! When we arrived at the seafront and were unloading I made a few people smile as I carried Her Majesty to the beach! One family even asked if they could take a photo of their children with her! The girls had also laminated and cut out photos of the Queen’s face which I attached to wooden kebab sticks for us to hold up to our faces! Some of us wore red white and blue including accessories and we all had a great day. I think we did the Queen proud with our efforts!
The best thing about memories is making them….
It’s not easy getting on with your life when you know you have tough times ahead but life is so precious and not everyone has the chance to do the things they enjoy. Of course there was a big cloud hanging over me during that time but I also knew that I was going to be restricted for however long my treatment and recovery would take so why waste the time I had while I was feeling well enough to get out and about?
“Life comes with no guarantees, no time outs, no second chances, you just have to live life to the fullest; laugh as much as you can, spend all your money, tell someone what they mean to you, tell someone off, speak out, dance in the pouring rain, hold someone’s hand, comfort a friend, pig out, fall asleep watching the sun come up, stay up late, be a flirt, smile until your face hurts, don’t be afraid to take chances or fall in love .. and most of all live in the moment because when you look back someday knowing you have no regrets – it’s going to be what makes you smile.”
Hoping for a Happy Ever After 