Lisahammond

Not all heroes wear capes

For most of our lives we are influenced by the people we are brought up by, we encounter along the way and who play a part in the journeys we make. However big or small, someone’s words or actions can have a profound impact on our lives. Sometimes we will never recognise or even be aware of the significance and effects of these events.

The poet Ralph Waldo Emerson, is credited with the phrase “life is a journey, not a destination.” These words are true because life is a journey, not a destination. Life is an ongoing journey. A destination is a place you arrive at or an endpoint.

‘The Five People You Meet in Heaven’ by Mitch Albom (2003) follows the life and death of an elderly maintenance mechanic named Eddie who is killed in an amusement park accident and sent to heaven where he encounters five people who had a significant impact on him while he was alive.

The story takes you through the different stages of his life. Some of those he meets are people who he may never have even seen but he, in some way, impacted their lives and they his. By piecing together the fragments and memories of his life Eddie realises his connections to those people. A truly wonderful insight into how the impact of even the slighest thing altered the course and path Eddie took.

Obvious examples of this would be family members – a mum or dad, sibling, aunt or uncle. But many people are not lucky enough to experience the life of a loving and caring family. That’s when the influence of another key person can make a momentous difference. In my work role supporting children in care, we put a great deal of emphasis on the importance of ‘key adults’ in schools. We ask schools to identify at least one member of staff as a ‘go to’ person for each of our children and young people. This might be someone in the safeguarding or pastoral team, a form tutor or head of year. It does not have to be a member of teaching staff, it might be someone in the school office, the canteen, a music teacher or sports mentor. Someone who understands the needs of the student and is able to empathise with them. It’s also best if it is someone who is more readily available such as someone who does not have a full teaching schedule. A trusted adult who can provide a ‘safe space’ when needed. Ideally it is even better if the school is also able to identify a second adult as a back-up, particularly if the main person has teaching responsibilities.

Occasionally a school will have an absolute gem of a person who has proved to be crucial to the success of young people and their ability to access their learning. In my job specifically the children are all in care at the point they are allocated to our caseloads so they will have already been removed from an unsafe situation. Inevitably they carry a lot of emotional trauma which makes life very challenging for them but there is a lot support available to them once they become part of the care system.

I have to mention that network of caring support who will also be key to the young person’s feelings of safety and wellbeing – foster carers, social workers, support staff in residential settings, therapists and many other professionals who contribute to a brighter future for those who are disadvantaged.

The pupils who schools need to be just as mindful of are those who are still living in the chaos but are trying to survive without feeling they can reach out. This is where the signs could be picked up by any adults in schools. I have heard stories from social workers where school canteen staff have noticed that a child seems to always be hungry and they’ve passed this on to be looked into. Child Protection training includes looking for signs that something doesn’t seem right with a child. They may appear to be unusually dishevelled, unkempt, smell unpleasant, wearing dirty clothes, constantly tired or actually falling asleep in class. Maybe they seem like they have something they want to share but need an interested person to gently ask them if everything is okay. One social worker once told me that a secondary school where three brothers had attended had alerted the authorities about their concerns for exactly the above reasons. When Children’s Services visited the family home to investigate the concerns, they discovered that the children had no bedding on their beds and had been sleeping in their uniforms. They had no clean clothes and the food cupboards were bare. A classic case of neglect with their most basic needs not being met. In most cases, school becomes a ‘safe space’ for these children. While enduring the unpredictable turbulence of their home life, school becomes the one constant, a place of comfort and familiarity.

“Dare to reach out your hand into the darkness, to pull another hand into the light.” – Norman B Rice (American Politician).

Examples of these ‘unsung heroes’ have been shared by celebrities and key speakers on many occasions. Former Arsenal footballer Ian Wright spoke very publicly about the teacher who changed his life. He told how the teacher backed him playing football and gave him a helping hand when he wasn’t doing well in class stating “I met him when I was seven and I’d been put out of the classroom for the third time that week. I’d been having problems. He taught me to read, he taught me to write. Gave me the responsibility – I was able to do the register, I was a milk monitor. You know, all that stuff.” Let’s be honest, these small actions should be fundamental aspects of a teacher’s responsibilities, a non-judgemental approach, allowing children to feel they can trust them when they’ve only experienced adults letting them down. I doubt Ian’s teacher even second-guessed his actions and was likely unaware of the difference he made to that little boy. To be remembered all those years later is truly an accomplishment even if he had not been aware of it.

“No act of kindness, no matter how small, is ever wasted.” – Aesop.

Jaz Ampaw-Farr was a contestant on series 9 of BBC’s ‘The Apprentice’ in 2013. Despite being the first to be ‘fired’ in that series, Jaz did not let the disappointment determine her future because she already had an uplifting drive to embed resilience to overcome failure. Described as “more than an inspirational speaker, Jaz is a force of nature who empowers and inspires people to take action” and one of the “most sought after international female motivational speakers.” Shaped by her own experiences, growing up in foster care and battling homelessness, she talks about her own everyday heroes who helped her to become the “resilience Ninja” she is today.

An ‘ordinary hero’ is someone who merely shows they care and want to protect you. They will stand by that person and hold a vision of success for them when they are feeling worthless and unlovable. In my professional role I regularly talk about ‘checking in’ with students and/or giving them a ‘soft landing’ at the start of their school day. Simply asking how they are and waiting for an answer or, if that might be too much for them, maybe a gentle pat on the shoulder or a thumbs up. Anything to make them feel noticed and cared for. These simple and subtle acts can build up a meaningful relationship and promote self-belief. This works best with no expectations or pressure and not giving up but persevering until they understand and accept that you are championing them. It will take time to build up trust so it may take a lot of patience. However, if you are doing this with only the young person’s interest at heart, you will not take it personally and your patience will eventually pay off. The moment, whatever that may be, that you break that barrier of defence and know that you have made a difference, you will be so proud of them. I remember hearing an example of a student who hid behind a ‘mask’ of his long fringe every day and avoided all eye contact. One teacher said “good morning” to him every day for some time, regardless of the student’s disposition. One day the student walked by with his head up and fringe to the side and made eye contact with the teacher. This seemingly token gesture was in fact a significant triumph for both the student and his ‘hero’. That teacher never gave up. A wonderful example of being ‘humans’ first, teachers second. Every student needs a champion. In the words of Jaz “Change won’t happen until your desire to make a difference is bigger and stronger and more powerful than your fear of trying”.

When a young person is not having any positive interactions or feeling noticed by adults, they will often feel powerless. If they feel they are being treated differently to their peers or teachers are being inconsistent they might feel a sense of injustice, leading to them losing respect for those adults. They may feel that the teachers have stereotyped them as they already feel their peers have, contributing to the inevitability of being in trouble.

Such negative experiences will almost certainly impact on a young person’s self-esteem, contributing to a sense of worthlessness. In many cases, particularly young people who have already experienced some form of trauma resulting from abuse or neglect, they will question their own worth. “Am I not interesting enough?” “What did I do wrong?” or “Am I not likeable?” Looked after children often feel in some way responsible for the breakdown of their families when they are too young to understand that none of it was their fault. In some cases, they will have been specifically told by a family member that it is their fault that they were removed from the family home. If they feel that other adults in their lives aren’t giving them a chance this will further chip away at their confidence, leaving them feeling even less important, liked and valued.

Adults have a duty of care to listen, take note and support young people to improve their experiences in school. The negative experiences of a young person also effects their ability to form and maintain relationships. They lack trust in adults when they feel they have been let down by many of them. Not feeling they can trust others, being vulnerable and able to open up to them will usually result in relationships which are not meaningful and lack close connections. Instead they have a perceived sense of friendships when in fact they are often on the periphery of friendship groups and cannot rely on the loyalty of friends. Friendships are more often shallow, unfulfilling and disappointing.

A simple act of inclusion – a smile, a kind word, any personal acknowledgement – can help to build up confidence, resilience and self-worth. Every voice deserves to be heard and every individual deserves to be noticed and accepted.

“Being excluded or ostracized is an invisible form of bullying that doesn’t leave bruises, and therefore we often underestimate its impact” – Kipling D. Williams, a professor of psychological sciences.

Without this support, a young person’s way of coping may be to behave in ways to get themselves noticed, often for all the wrong reasons. As we might call it ‘playing up for attention’.

Coping can mean the person tries harder to be included. For example, some of those who are ostracised may be more likely to engage in behaviours that increase their future inclusion by mimicking, complying, obeying orders, cooperating or expressing attraction.

“They will go to great lengths to enhance their sense of belonging and self-esteem. If they feel there is little hope for re-inclusion or that they have little control over their lives, they may resort to provocative behavior and even aggression. At some point, they stop worrying about being liked, and they just want to be noticed.” – Kipling D. Williams.

In a research article ‘Feeling Part of the School and Feeling Safe: Further Development of a Tool for Investigating School Belonging’ (Dec 2020), questionnaires found the following information in relation to “elements and aspects which prevented students from feeling part of the school…..responses were most commonly identified as referring to (not) feeling supported …. (not taking part in) social, friendship or activity groups.

Feeling like teachers don’t like you or feeling targeted and alone (not feeling supported and respected)

Not taking part in things that help the school

Not being involved

Being excluded from group’s. Having arguments with friends.”

In many cases responses revealed corresponding themes:

“constantly feel like teacher are delibratly picking on me and putting me down to make me feel worthless and putting themselves out . to make me feel dumd stupid and inscure about myself and my learning only a very small amount of teachers make me feel good about myself and succeed to help me identify what I am good at while others just tell me I don’t care about anything I do its just them delibeatly picking on me and I hate this school and the fact I am here (individual identity-feeling supported and respected)

knowing that there are always going to be people judging you if you do something or act differently, that thought is always at the back of my mind”. (identity, feeling supported and respected)” – https://doi.org/10.1080/03055698.2021.1944063

“Never look down on anybody unless you’re helping him up.” – Reverend Jesse Jackson.

“There are many conditions that shape opportunities for learning. Supportive relationships, consistent acknowledgement of students, recognition of good work, social and emotional approaches to discipline and opportunities for meaningful relationships, effective classroom management practices, high levels of academic and behavioural expectations and support to realize them.”

Ref: Osher, Sidana, & Kelly, 2008 (summarised).

The best ways for these young people to be successful learners are to feel safe, connected and respected.

I recently heard Mark Hoyle, YouTuber, known professionally as ‘Ladbaby’ talking candidly about his struggles with learning when he was at school and how one primary school teacher, after consulting with his parents, arranged for him to be tested which led to the confirmation of a dyslexia diagnosis. Soon after meeting his now wife, Roxanne, she told him that she was also dyslexic. This has led to the couple’s quest to celebrate books and reading. They wrote their first children’s book together….

“We had no idea how our book, Greg the Sausage Roll: Santa’s Little Helper, would do, but when it came out in 2021, it went straight to No. 1 on the UK Book Chart. Later, it became the No. 1 selling picture book of the whole year.

It brought tears to my eyes when I found out. It just showed, learning difficulties didn’t have to hold you back.”

Recently Mark shared a very emotional video on social media where he had been at a book signing for one of his children’s books and had a surprise reunion with the teacher who he claims to have changed his life.

“Great opportunities to help others seldom come, but small ones surround us every day.” – Sally Koch (Sister of St Joseph of Carondelet).

I’ve also got a personal example of a family member who was more-or-less written off at school and told he will never be anything. My cousin is in his early sixties so would have attended secondary school in the early 70s to mid 80s. My uncle was a cattle farmer all his life and my four cousins grew up in the farming world. His older brother and two younger sisters had successful careers, a midwife, a dancer and a medical professor. However, the cousin I’m talking about did not enjoy school and was labelled as being naughty and troubled. Because of this it was assumed that he wasn’t bright. After school, he stayed on the farm to work for my uncle doing maintenance and general labour. However, his main passion in life was amateur flying and he gained his licence, enjoying the pursuit in a non-professional capacity. After a few years, he followed the path to become a commercial airline pilot and achieved 100% in all of his exams, eventually working as a captain for a large UK airline for many years until he was forced to retire on medical grounds. I remember a conversation once where his sister said how she would love to take him back to that teacher to show him what he had achieved. Whether it was the passion for flying or the determination to prove people wrong, he was able to exceed all of the expectations of his teacher. Not an example of an adult being supportive but instead demonstrating that my cousin was far from stupid and a teacher not taking the time to find out why he might have been finding school so difficult.

“Don’t deceive yourself; laughing at someone’s weakness is not the way to reveal your strength. Your strength is in the help you offer, not the mockeries you deliver.” – Israelmore Avibor (Inspirational Writer)

There are some great films that have been inspired by ‘ordinary heroes’, some based on true stories and some fictional but inspired by real people. Here are a few of my favourites:

‘Dangerous Minds’ – retired US marine

LouAnne Johnson (played by Michelle Pfeiffer)

‘Dead Poets Society’ – John Keating (played by Robin Williams)

‘Mona Lisa Smile’ – Katherine Ann Watson (played by Julia Roberts) inspired by Hillary Clinton

‘Good Will Hunting’ – Dr Sean Maguire (played by Robin Williams) – character janitor Will (played by Matt Damon) inspired by Harvard alumnus Will Sidis

‘The Kings Speech’ – Lionel Logue, speech therapist (played by Geoffrey Rush)

‘12 Mighty Orphans’- Rusty Russell, football coach (played by Luke Wilson)

I am going to leave you now with this….

“The image of a crying child musician has been ranked as one of the most moving photos in modern history. This photo of a 12-year-old Brazilian boy (Diego Frazzo Turkato) playing the violin at the funeral of his teacher who rescued him from an environment where poverty and crime were at an all-time high. In this image, humanity speaks with the strongest voice in the world: “Cultivate love and kindness in a child to sow the seeds of compassion. And only then will you build a great civilization, a great nation” – Marcos Tristao (freelance photographer).

Therapy of the Sea

While I was enjoying the tranquility of the beach today I was randomly inspired to turn my hand to a bit of poetry. I’m no Emily Dickinson but hoping that what I’ve written is enjoyable……

Therapy of the Sea

The sound of the waves

Lapping gently

at the water’s edge

The tinkling of a wind charm

An essence of calm

The warmth of the rays

Stroking my back

The breeze in my hair

The salty sea air

Seagulls gliding

Children having fun

People relaxing and

Enjoying the sun

The lure of a barbecue

Or fish and chips

Wafting to reach you

Al fresco dining

It tastes so much better

Burgers and sausages

Salad and feta

Beautiful shells

Perfectly formed

Waiting to be found

An exquisite fan

Or spiralling round and round

The wind brings the surfers

Sailing boats and kites

Rolling waves

Reaching new heights

Paddle boards and kayaks

A regatta, rowers

Bonding with nature

Blood pressure lowers

A little hut

So simple you see

Trinkets and Knick-knacks

A whistling kettle

Buckets and spades

Hats and shades

Colourful and pretty

My own stash of treasures

It’s everything to me

And brings such pleasure

Life doesn’t have to be all

Whistles and bells

The greatest feelings

You can have in life

Are often just

Sights, sounds and smells

Vitamin ‘sea’

Cups of tea

A good book

Some tunes

And time for me

A regular visit

From a bumble bee

Is a sign

My beautiful mum

Is watching over me

I glory in the peace

But love the company

Of family and friends

Who share my love of the sea

My cute little hut

Is my pride and joy

The slow chilled-out pace

At my happy place

If there’s one thing I can preach

It’s that…..

Life is better at the beach

Poetry is eternal graffiti written in the heart of everyone.

Poetry – “the art of rhythmical composition, written or spoken, for exciting pleasure by beautiful, imaginative, or elevated thoughts”. I can’t say that I’m either a lover or a hater of poetry. I suppose I don’t have a great deal of understanding or appreciation of poems. I certainly would not be able to recite any of the literary classics by the likes of Burns, Byron, Blake, Keats or Wordsworth. Nevertheless I do enjoy the descriptive nature and romantic spirit of a poem. Poems often give me a sense of enchantment. inciting my imagination and creating visual images. Even shorter poems can tell a great story. Take Wilfred Owen, for example, one of the leading poets of the First World War. He wrote of the horrors of the trenches and gas warfare, invoking the imagination of vivid and graphic scenes of fear, destruction and impending doom.

Dulce et Decorum est

Bent double, like old beggars under sacks
Knock-kneed, coughing like hags, we cursed through sludge,
Till on the haunting flares we turned our backs,
And towards our distant rest began to trudge.
Men marched asleep. Many had lost their boots,
But limped on, blood-shod. All went lame, all blind;
Drunk with fatigue; deaf even to the hoots
Of gas-shells dropping softly behind.

Gas! GAS! Quick, boys!—An ecstasy of fumbling
Fitting the clumsy helmets just in time,
But someone still was yelling out and stumbling
And flound’ring like a man in fire or lime

Dim through the misty panes and thick green light,
As under a green sea, I saw him drowning.

In all my dreams before my helpless sight
He plunges at me, guttering, choking, drowning.

If in some smothering dreams, you too could pace
Behind the wagon that we flung him in,
And watch the white eyes writhing in his face,
His hanging face, like a devil’s sick of sin,
If you could hear, at every jolt, the blood
Come gargling from the froth-corrupted lungs,
Obscene as cancer,
Bitter as the cud
Of vile, incurable sores on innocent tongues,–
My friend, you would not tell with such high zest
To children ardent for some desperate glory,
The old Lie: Dulce et decorum est
Pro patria mori

“Poetry is the spontaneous overflow of powerful feelings: it takes its origin from emotion recollected in tranquility.” – William Wordsworth (19th century poet laureate).

There is a discernible connection between poetry and music. The two art forms have been intertwined for thousands of years. In ancient times, poems were often sung and when the great bards were performing their poetry it would be accompanied by music.

Lyricists and poets are closely related. Both are trying to tell a story with words. A poet can easily become a lyricist if they write their poetry to be incorporated into a song and music is often regarded as melodic poetry.

Bob Dylan is a perfect example of this and is regarded as one of the greatest songwriters ever, incorporating his political, social, philosophical, and literary influences into his music. Many of his early songs, adapted the tunes and phrasing of older folk songs.

The Pulitzer Board in 2008 awarded him a special citation for “his profound impact on popular music and American culture, marked by lyrical compositions of extraordinary poetic power“. In 2016, Dylan was awarded the The Nobel Prize in Literature “for having created new poetic expressions within the great American song tradition” – (Ref: http://www.Wikipedia.org)

“Music is the Poetry of the Air” – Jean Paul Richter.

In complete contrast to Dylan, and in a whole different music genre, another great storyteller and musical poet is Eminem. I’m not a big fan of rap and I don’t love all of his music but I think he is a genius writer. He is one of the best-selling artists of all time with estimated sales of over 220 million records. Among too many accolades to mention them all, Eminem became the first artist to have ten consecutive albums debut at number one in the US and one of six artists to have released at least ten US number-one albums. The Slim Shady LP has been certified quadruple platinum by the Recording Industry Association of America (RIAA).

Unusually Eminem structures his songs around the lyrics rather than writing the words to the beat of the music. Although he was influenced by several MCs, he studied their different rapping techniques to sculpt his own. His style of writing is described as “using complex rhyme schemes, bending words so they rhyme, multisyllabic rhymes, many rhymes to a bar, complex rhythms, clear enunciation and the use of melody and syncopation” – (Ref: http://www.Wikipedia.org).

In 2002, the BBC referred to Eminem as a “modern-day William Shakespeare”

“When he wrote verses, he wanted most of the words to rhyme; he wrote long words or phrases on paper and, underneath, worked on rhymes for each syllable. Although the words often made little sense, the drill helped Eminem practice sounds and rhymes” – Josh Eels, “Eminem on the Road Back from Hell” (Rollingstone.com Nov 2010).

His work is centred around a number of alter egos, Slim Shady probably being the most well-known. This allowed him to express his anger with lyrics about drug use, sexual acts, mental instability and violence, political views and, in a wider sense, themes of dealing with poverty and family difficulties. His characters often spanned more than one album giving the effect of an anthology.

He has been involved in controversies with public figures, including former US presidents George W Bush and Donald Trump. He has been accused of racism and homophobia but has defended himself against such accusations on many occasions.

Contrastingly, Eminem is a friend of gay singer Elton John and publicly supports gay rights.

When talking about his duet with Eminem at the 2001 Grammy Awards, Elton John stated “Eminem is a true poet of his time, someone we’ll be talking about for decades to come. He tells stories in such a powerful and distinctive way. As a lyricist, he’s one of the best ever. Eminem does for his audience what Dylan did for his: He writes how he feels. His anger, vulnerability and humour come out.”

There have been many other lyrical feuds with other artists – Christina Aguilera, Will Smith, Mariah Carey, Machine Gun Kelly, Vanilla Ice, Ja Rule and Limp Bizkit, to name just a few!

Like him or loathe him, there’s no denying that this man has exceptional talent, inventiveness, acumen and wisdom. In many ways he has risen above his misfortunes in life and used them to spread messages with his heart. Maybe the truth is too much for some….

Another artist whose career began as a poet and novelist is the great Leonard Cohen, whose music career didn’t begin until the 1960s when he was in his early thirties. Amongst others, literary influences during his time at Gill University included Irish poet and writer William Butler Yeats (or better known as W. B. Yeats). His earlier music was mainly folk but he later blended his acoustic style with jazz, East Asian and Mediterranean sounds.

“Themes commonly explored throughout his work include faith and mortality, isolation and depression, betrayal and redemption, social and political conflict, and sexual and romantic love, desire, regret, and loss.” – (Ref: http://www.Wikipedia.org).

I love pretty much all versions of what was probably one of his best known songs ‘Hallelujah’ but my personal favourite Cohen song has to be ‘Treaty’ from his posthumous album ‘You Want it Darker’ (2016), a hauntingly beautiful track with a deep level of emotion. If you’ve never heard this song, check it out. It will linger with you long after it has finished playing.

“For six decades, Leonard Cohen revealed his soul to the world through poetry and song—his deep and timeless humanity touching our very core. Simply brilliant. His music and words will resonate forever.” — Rock & Roll Hall of Fame, 2008.

“Poetry is just the evidence of life. If your life is burning well, poetry is just the ash”. – Leonard Cohen.

On a lighter note, I absolutely love a bit of children’s poetry. One of my most treasured books as a child was ‘Silly Verse for Kids’ by Spike Milligan (first published in 1959). I could recite by heart the nonsense verse “On the Ning Nang Nong” around the age of 8 or 9 years. “In 1998 it was voted the UK’s favourite comic poem in a nationwide poll, ahead of other nonsense poems by poets such as Lewis Carroll and Edward Lear” – (Ref: http://www.wikipedia.org).

On the Ning Nang Nong
Where the Cows go Bong!
and the monkeys all say BOO!
There’s a Nong Nang Ning
Where the trees go Ping!
And the tea pots jibber jabber joo.
On the Nong Ning Nang
All the mice go Clang
And you just can’t catch ’em when they do!
So its Ning Nang Nong
Cows go Bong!
Nong Nang Ning
Trees go ping
Nong Ning Nang
The mice go Clang
What a noisy place to belong
is the Ning Nang Ning Nang Nong!

I still love it!

“I thought I’d begin by reading a poem by Shakespeare, but then I thought, why should I? He never reads any of mine.” – Spike Milligan (1973).

Much later when I had small children of my own I loved to read rhyming stories to them. Favourites were Dr Seuss and Lynley Dodd. Our children had box sets of both authors and the most read were without doubt ‘The Cat in the Hat‘ and ‘Hairy Maclary from Donaldson’s Dairy’ respectively.

The works of Dr Seuss include many of the most popular children’s books of all time. Over 600 million copies have been sold and were translated into more than 20 languages during his lifetime. In 2000, Publishers Weekly compiled a list of the best-selling children’s books of all time and of the top 100 hardcover books, 16 were written by him.

Dame Lynley Dodd is a New Zealand children’s author and illustrator. Her ‘Hairy Maclary and Friends’ series has sold over five million copies worldwide. Her work earned her the honour of Dame Companion of the New Zealand Order of Merit in 2009.

Earlier on I mentioned ‘anthology’ which is any printed collection of literary pieces, songs, works of art, etc. a ‘trilogy’ refers to a set of three works that are connected and share an ongoing theme. But did you know the names of other series that have more than three parts?

A series of 2 books = Duology

A series of 3 books = Trilogy

A series of 4 books = Tetralogy

A series of 5 books = Pentalogy

A series of 6 books = Hexology

A series of 7 books = Heptalogy

A series of 8 books = Octology

A series of 9 books = Ennealogy

A series of 10 books = Decology

A series of 11 books = Undecology

A series of 12 books = Dodecology

A series of 13 books = Tridecology

A series of 14 books = Tetradecology

The term anthology originates from the Greek word ‘anthologia’ meaning ‘a collection of flowers’.

Onomatopoeia: I looked up the meaning of onomatopoeia and the definition made it sound much more complicated than it is so instead I’m just going to say it’s words that sound like what they mean, for example, crash, bang, thud and buzz or plop, whoosh, hiss, crackle and sizzle!

If you think of the Kellogg’s cereal ‘Rice Krispies’ which has a long advertising history with the tagline ‘Snap! Crackle! Pop!’, it is marketed on the basis of the noises it produces when milk is added to the bowl. Interestingly there are a number of variations from different countries, such as ‘Piff! Paff! Puff!’ (swedish), ‘Cric! Crac! Croc!’ (french) and ‘Pif! Paf! Pod!’ (dutch).

Many onomatopoeic words are used to describe animal sounds, such as meow, cuckoo, chirp, cluck and croak. In fact a relatively large number of bird names arise by onomatopoeia.

Onomatopoeia can help to bring a story or poem to life. It is also often used to add humour because the words usually sound quite strange or are fun to say.

‘Storm’ by William Thomas Dodd

“A cacophonous cannonade of thunder, doesn’t it make you wonder? blasting buss of blunder, pitter-patter rain, pouring under, streets awash like tumult tundra, lucid lightning flash, clip-clop heels as people dash“

Some words are so strange that you might think they are made up! For example, shenanigans (mischief), discombobulated (confused) and skedaddle (to run away hurriedly). Then there are words that are made up of more than one other word, such as fabulicious (fabulous and delicious) and fantabulicious (fantastic, fabulous and delicious)!

Not an onomatopoeia but I also love words like flavoursome (a full rich pleasant flavour; tasty) which makes my mouth water just hearing it!

“Poetry is a deal of joy and pain and wonder, with a dash of the dictionary.” – Kahlil Gibran (Lebanese-American writer and poet).

Alliteration: the commencement of two or more words of a word group with the same letter, or put more simply, when words start with the same sound, for example, angry ants, brilliant brains, giggling ghosts, kicking kangaroos.

Alliteration is often used in poetry, advertising, event campaigns and newspaper headlines to grab attention. Most commonly alliteration is used to make tongue twisters and there are a few well-known ones. They are a great way to practice and improve pronunciation and fluency. You might know ‘Peter Piper picked a peck of pickled pepper’ or ‘She sells seashells on the seashore’. When my children were young we used to say ‘I scream, you scream, we all scream for ice-cream’

Here’s one that always makes me giggle….

I’m not a pheasant plucker. I’m a pheasant plucker’s mate. I’m only plucking pheasants. Cos the pheasant plucker’s late! Try saying that after a few glasses of wine!

It’s not just a pub challenge, it is actually a rhyme which dates back to an 18th century village called Letworth nestled in the heart of English folklore and is one of the most beloved and challenging tongue twisters.

“A playful challenge of verbal dexterity, this rhyme has its roots intertwined with the story of Tom Fletcher, fondly known as “Fletcher the Pheasant Plucker.” Tom, a gamekeeper by profession, was renowned throughout Letworth for his exceptional speed and skill in plucking pheasants.

It was during one of the village’s grand pheasant festivals that a wandering bard, Elias, captivated by Tom’s rhythmic plucking, composed this catchy rhyme. The locals, enamored by this wordplay, found it to be a source of endless amusement, especially in the taverns after a pint or two.”

Spoonerism: “a verbal error in which a speaker accidentally transposes the initial sounds or letters of two or more words, often to humorous effect.” Also known as a ‘slip of the tongue’. For example, ‘Jober as a sudge’ (sober as a judge) and ‘Track of all jades’ (Jack of all trades).

“Spoonerisms are named after a British professor who is believed to have had a tendency to mix up his words — or wix up his mords. The Reverend Archibald Spooner (1844-1939) was an esteemed English language scholar who served for more than 20 years in a leadership role at Oxford’s New College.” (www.yourdictionary.com)

Over the years comedians have entertained us with spoonerisms.

Rod Hull (seventies children’s entertainer) wrote:

“Ronald Derds (or was it Donald Rerds)?
Was a boy who always wixed up his merds.
If anyone asked him,. ‘What’s the time?’
He’d look at his watch, and say, ‘Norter past quine.”

By far the best I have ever heard has to be by Ronnie Barker (one half of the comedy duo ‘The Two Ronnies’ and sometimes referred to as the ‘king of spoonerisms’) – the story of ‘Rindercella and the Sugly Isters’. Filled with innuendo and bad language, it has amused many generations!

“Rindercella and her sugly isters lived in a marge lansion. Rindercella worked very hard frubbing scloors, emptying poss pits, and shivelling shot. At the end of the day, she was knucking fackered. The sugly isters were right bugly astards. One was called Mary Hinge and the other was called Betty Swallocks; they were really forrible huckers; they had fetty sweet and fetty swannies. The sugly isters had tickets to go to the ball, but the cotton runts would not let Rindercella go.

Suddenly there was a bucking fang and her gairy fodmother appeared. Her name was Shairy Hithole and she was a light rucking fesbian. She turned a pumpkin and six mite whice into a hucking cuge farriage with six dandy ronkeys who had buge hollocks and dig bicks. The gairy fodmother told Rindercella to be back by dimnight otherwise, there would be a cucking falamity. At the ball, Rindercella was dancing with the prandsome hince when suddenly the clock struck twelve. ‘Mist all chucking frighty!!!’ said Rindercella and she ran out tripping barse over ollocks and losing her slass glipper.

The very next day, the prandsome hince knocked on Rindercella’s door and the sugly isters let him in. Suddenly, Betty Swallocks lifted her leg and let off a fassive mart.

‘Who’s fust jarted?’ asked the prandsome hince.

‘Blame that fugly ucker over there!’ said Mary Hinge.

When the stinking brown cloud had lifted, he tried the slass glipper on both the sugly isters without success and their feet stucking funk. Betty Swallocks was ducking fisgusted and gave the prandsome hince a knack in the kickers. This was not difficult as he had bucking fuge halls and a hig bard on. He tried the slass glipper on Rindercella and it fitted pucking ferfectly.

Rindercella and the prandsome hince were married. The pransome hince lived his life in lucking fuxury and Rindercella lived hers with a follen swanny!”

My favourite version is on YouTube and is particularly funny. I’ve lost count of how many times I’ve watched it and shared it but it’s more than a few! – https://youtu.be/rU5ZjR2m3eA?si=rm3cUu12NcA56ZJ4

A malapropism is very similar to a spoonerism except that it is an unintentional misuse of a word by confusion with one of similar sound, for example, “I am not under the affluence of alcohol!” It is where an incorrect word is put in place of one that is similar in pronunciation.

My dear Nan was particularly ‘gifted’ at doing this although she was oblivious to her skills! The best one was around 1988 when my brother was in hospital following an accident on a building site. He was on traction for several weeks to realign a badly broken femur and was in hospital over the Christmas period. Back then the rules in hospital wards were far more relaxed and I doubt we would have had the same privileges we had in a similar situation nowadays. So on Christmas Day several members of our family trooped into the hospital to see him. My dad took in a bottle of wine and went to find out if any of the nurses had a bottle opener handy! My Nan turned round to me and said “Look at your dad fertilising with the nurses!” Of course she meant ‘fraternising’! I don’t know which is more shocking, my nan’s malapropism or the fact we took alcohol into a hospital with the intention of sharing it with a patient!

So much of learning is about meeting a word count or target, but poetry teaches us the impact of saying a lot in few words. In an age of tweets and hashtags, the conciseness of a poem should be the perfect art form for students of today.

“Poetry is the rhythmical creation of beauty in words.” – Edgar Allan Poe (American author and poet).

Can I have a Word?

Words. Language. Linguistics. That’s my ‘thing’! Reading, writing, researching….’Google’ is my bestie! My curiosity and thirst for knowledge has no bounds and if I hear something I don’t know about and it interests me, I HAVE to find out more. It could just be a word I don’t know the meaning of, a historical event or a person who is either famous or infamous for a particular fact/event/circumstance. I have to be honest though, I haven’t got the greatest memory these days for retaining facts and I don’t always remember finer details. In fact, a lot of my googling comes from those conversations with fellow sufferers of menopausal brain fog that go something like this:

“Did you watch that series on TV last night?”

“Which one was that?”

“The one with that woman who was in that other drama. I can’t remember the name of it but it had that bloke in it, you know the one that was married to the woman from that film about something or other. It was on Netflix. Or maybe it was Prime or Paramount….”

Sometimes if there’s enough of you, you can get there with a collective effort and it’s such a triumph when you do! Or you can just ‘Google it’ with a few clues and work your way to an answer!

If you are naturally an enthusiastic reader this will always expand your bank of vocabulary. However, occasionally I come across a word or two that I have to look up. This happened to me very recently in fact. The first word I didn’t recognise or know the meaning of was ‘ameliorate’ – “to make or become better, more bearable or more satisfactory; improve” or synonyms “alleviate; lighten; mitigate”. It sounded a bit fancy for the context in the book if I’m honest! The second word was ‘obfuscate’ – “to make unclear or hard to understand, (especially deliberately), to confuse or bewilder; to darken” or synonyms “baffle; becloud; befuddle”. Well done if you already knew the meaning of these words!

I’m sure I’m also not the only one who sometimes can’t get off to sleep for trying to remember something and resorts to going through the alphabet in my head in the hope that it will trigger an answer! So not only is my memory deteriorating but my brain just won’t switch off and give me a break when I need it to!

“Language is the blood of the soul into which thoughts run and out of which they grow.” – Oliver Wendell Holmes (American physician, poet and polymath).

A dictionary definition of ‘dictionary’ is – “a book or digital resource containing a selection of words and information about their meanings, pronunciations, etymologies, inflected forms, derived forms, etc., in either the same or another language; lexicon; glossary.”

A dictionary definition of ‘thesaurus’ is – “a dictionary of synonyms and antonyms.”

A dictionary definition of ‘synonym’ is – “a word having the same or nearly the same meaning as another word in the same language, such as happy, joyful, elated.”

A dictionary definition of ‘antonym’ is – “a word opposite in meaning to another.” Fast is an antonym of slow.

“The English language is so elastic that you can find another word to say the same thing.” – Mahatma Ghandi (Indian Civil Rights Activist).

Whether you have to write reports/important emails for your job or you just write for fun (I do both) and you want your work to be succinct and articulate, a thesaurus may just be your best friend! I use an online one and find it is an invaluable tool. You may, for example, be compiling a CV (curriculum vitae) or a job application and want to make the text a little more interesting and descriptive, there’s no shame in referring to a thesaurus. If you have ‘brain block’ it can often prompt you to find the right word for your sentence to say exactly what you are trying to say.

Then of course there is also the urban dictionary which is a “crowdsourced English-language online dictionary for slang words and phrases. The website was founded in 1999 by Aaron Peckham. Originally, Urban Dictionary was intended as a dictionary of slang or cultural words and phrases not typically found in standard dictionaries, but it is now used to define any word, event or phrase (including sexually explicit content).”

Im sure like many other mothers of millennials, I am often confused by the ‘language’ of my ‘kids’. Their definitions of words you think you know can often be the opposite! It’s a whole new learning curve! Over the years I’ve heard them say words which have a different and new meaning to my understanding. For example:

Calm

Regular dictionary definition – “without rough motion; still or nearly still: a calm sea.”

Urban dictionary definition – “It’s cool, don’t worry bout it, that’s alright, yes mate, sweet.”

Bare

Regular dictionary definition – “without covering or clothing; naked; nude, eg bare legs.” Also – “scarcely or just sufficient; mere; eg the bare necessities of life.”

Urban dictionary definition – “a lot of; very; an exclamation used in disbelief. E.g The woman had bare cats; I was bare tired”

Sick

Regular dictionary definition – “affected with ill health, disease, or illness”

Urban dictionary definition – “cool. Eg that’s sick man”

Basically the complete opposite of the original definitions of the words ‘bare’ and ‘sick’! It’s almost like a secret code to confuse and fool an older generation!

The urban dictionary is very entertaining and a great time-waster! Once you start browsing it gets more and more intriguing! It’s actually just very interesting reading about how the dictionary evolved, the rules, the selection and some of the controversy. Here’s an interesting fact I found on Wikipedia:

“For the first five years, the site generated revenue but did not make a profit. In 2003, the website gained wider attention after a news article revealed that a judge of the High Court of Justice in the United Kingdom had used Urban Dictionary to assist interpreting slang lyrics in a case involving two rappers.”

Just three more urban dictionary definitions for the fun of it that I love:

Trumpologist (n): “one whose paid job is to surf social media and forums ridiculing any and all critisism of Donald Trump with the aim of making it look like he has supporters. Origin – Trump Apologist – someone who argues in defense of a controversial truth, usually but not always associated with Christianity. During slave times in the United States, an apologist would defend that slavery was all right, by citing portions of the bible where God’s favorites owned slaves.”

Fuckwit: “A person who is not only lacking in clue but is apparently unable or unwilling to acquire clue even when handed it on a plate in generous portions.”

Phat: “pretty hot and tempting. Eg Girl you are phat”

“Language is a process of free creation; its laws and principles are fixed, but the manner in which the principles of generation are used is free and infinitely varied” – Noam Chomsky (American author and Laureate Professor of Linguistics).

There is also an online etymology dictionary. . Etymology is the scientific study of the origin and evolution of a word’s semantic meaning across time. Etymologies are not definitions They are explanations of what our words meant and how they sounded 600 or 2,000 years ago.

The search for meaningful origins for familiar or strange words is far older than the modern understanding of linguistic evolution and the relationships of languages, which began no earlier than the 18th century. A dictionary for history enthusiasts as well as linguists.

You could think of etymology as tree roots. As language develops, all the individual roots of a word come together to form a sturdy foundation, the tree representing the current form of the language. Understanding that words have root meanings is important, because it can allow us to expand and reinforce our vocabulary, by highlighting all the different elements that make our language.

“Language is very powerful. Language does not just describe reality. Language creates the reality it describes.” – Desmond Tutu (South African Anglican Bishop and theologian).

I love board games linked to words and language, like ‘Scrabble’, ‘Boggle’ and ‘Countdown’. Our family favourite is ‘Balderdash’ which was originally based on a TV panel game show called ‘Call my Bluff’. The show aired from October 1965 to December 1988. Two teams competed to identify the correct definitions of obscure words. The teams took turns to give three definitions, one true and two bluffs, while the other team attempted to determine which was correct. Both teams took turns bluffing and determining definitions.‘Balderdash’ is described as “a bluffing trivia game where guessing the answer that sounds right probably isn’t” A later version of the game ‘Absolute Balderdash’ added extra categories which are chosen by an arrow spin wheel. The categories are:

• WORDS – what is the definition of this word?

• PEOPLE – what is this person known for?

• INITIALS – what do they stand for?

• MOVIES – what is the basic story line?

• LAWS – complete the law!

Everyone has to write their own (made up) answers on a piece of paper and the ‘dasher’ (question master) copies the correct answer from the card on to an identical piece of paper therefore disguising which one is correct when they read out all of the answers together. If a player thinks they know the correct answer (extremely rare!) they can put that for extra points. It’s such good fun and often the answer you think is so ludicrous it is surely made up is the correct answer! It’s fun to delve into the minds and imaginations of your friends and family and it’s really exciting if players are convinced by your own answer, making you feel quite clever and smug! Sometimes you can be fooled into thinking an answer has to have been written by someone in particular because it seems so obvious – like grandad always writing about military and war, dad about cars and motorbikes, and the kids about fashion, pop culture and anything shockable! I highly recommend this game, it has been the source of much laughter and amusement over many years in our household.

I love a good TV quiz show, ‘Wheel of Fortune’, ‘Catchphrase’ and Countdown’ with its word conundrums. A conundrum is a puzzling question or problem but can also be a riddle where the answer is a play on words. For example, what is black and white and read all over? Answer: a newspaper. In ‘Countdown’ it is a nine letter word which is jumbled up and you have to rearrange the letters to guess the correct word.

“Gaia visited her daughter Mnemosyne, who was busy being unpronounceable” – Stephen Fry (English actor, broadcaster, comedian, director, narrator and writer).

Currently my favourite TV quiz show is ‘The 1% Club’. The show is styled as an IQ test and the questions are based on logic and common sense rather than general knowledge. You don’t need to know the answers, you just have to work them out. In essence it is a series of riddles and gets progressively harder throughout the show.

For example: A man who was outside in the rain without an umbrella or hat didn’t get a single hair on his head wet. Why?
Answer: He was bald.

Sometimes contestants get caught out by what we might call a trick question, such as What month of the year has 28 days? The answer of course is ‘all of them’ but some people might assume the answer is February. Or There’s a one-story house in which everything is yellow. Yellow walls, yellow doors, yellow furniture. What color are the stairs? Of course there are no stairs as it’s a one-story house.

They can certainly drive you mad at times!

Anagram: a word, phrase, or sentence formed from another by rearranging its letters, such as night/thing, elbow/below and dusty/study. Some anagrams are cleverly relevant to the original word. Such as debit card/bad credit. Other examples are:

Astronomer – moon starer

Schoolmaster – the classroom

The Morse code – here come the dots

Then there are the ones for famous people’s names:

Madonna Louise Ciccone – one cool dance musician

Clint Eastwood – old west action

William Shakespeare – I’ll make a wise phrase

George Bush – he bugs Gore!

I love a crossword, particularly ones with cryptic clues. From an early age I remember my mum doing newspaper crosswords and getting to know some of the regular clues and the use of anagrams or hidden words. Sometimes a clue can seem impossible until you break down a cryptic one.

There are three main elements to look out for in a cryptic clue – there will always be a straight definition plus either an anagram or a hidden word.

Here are some simple examples:

Month derived from charm

Month is the straight definition; charm is an anagram of March, i.e. the answer.

Raptor upset a talking bird

Talking bird is the straight definition; raptor is an anagram of parrot (the answer). In addition to this ‘upset’ indicates the word is jumbled up (an anagram).

Melon disguised as a hidden fruit

Hidden fruit is the straight definition; melon is an anagram of lemon (the answer). As above, ‘disguised’ indicates it is jumbled up.

Colour found in bizarre door

Colour is the straight definition; in this case it is a hidden word (‘found in’) not an anagram. The answer is red – bizarre door.

Cryptic crosswords are very satisfying to do. Sometimes you can even work out an answer to a word you’ve never heard of. So you shouldn’t assume you can’t do one if you don’t know lots of complicated and obscure words!

Most mornings I do what I think of as a series of brain training! I do ‘Wordle’ (6 guesses to find 1 word), ‘Quordle’ (9 guesses to find 4 words) and ‘Octordle’ (13 guesses to find 8 words)! My first word is always the same for all of them and I rarely use a different one. It’s a word that contains three vowels so a good place to start. I also use a free app called ‘Mindpal’, a daily brain trainer that challenges 7 key cognitive areas – memory, attention, language, maths, flexibility, speed and problem solving. It features over 40 games and 1000 levels to train your brain in different skills. In an attempt to improve my weak numeracy skills I also do daily ‘Numble’. It is like the numbers game in ‘Countdown’ where you are given 6 numbers and a target to reach using only those numbers but not necessarily all of them. That one doesn’t keep a tally of your records but I do okay. Im not so good when the answer requires double brackets though! Maybe a step too far for my non-mathematical brain!

‘Wordtrip’ is another good app. It’s not a daily game, just ongoing. I’ve been playing it for years and about four years ago I reached the top level (solved by 0.01% of players) but I’ve just carried on for the fun of it! Letters are presented in a circle and you swipe to find hidden words. This game tests your vocabulary, spelling skills and puzzle solving ability. Just one I play from time to time.

I’ve recently started playing a game called ‘Contexto Me’. I’m wary of actually recommending this game because it is actually frustrating and infuriating! It is so random but strangely I do get it most of the time. I sometimes get ‘hints’ but they don’t always help either! Occasionally I give up and see the answer when my sanity is severely at risk….!

I’ll just finish here with one last word, my current favourite, as I believe it describes me, and one last fabulous quote!

Thalassophile (n): a lover of the sea; someone who loves the sea, ocean.

“I thought: pity the poor in spirit who know neither the enchantment nor the beauty of language.” – Muriel Barbery (French novelist and philosophy teacher).

Asking a bookworm to name their favourite book is like asking a mother to pick their favourite child (Part 6 of 6).

It’s very difficult to name your favourite books because they all leave you with something different but the way I would whittle it down is if someone said to me “if you could only recommend five books what would they be?”

I would say I have one absolute favourite at the top of my list and four others in no particular preference order. I’m going to talk about those four first.

‘The Lovely Bones’ (2008) by Alice Sebold

This is the story of a teenage girl Susie who, after being raped and murdered, watches from heaven how her parents struggle to come to terms with her death and her father’s pursuit of her killer, desperately hoping he will identify him.

Doesn’t sound too appealing right? On the contrary it is a poignant, emotive and philosophical tale of life and death, and finding light in the darkest of places.

After she leaves her body, Susie learns that everyone has their own version of heaven. I’m not someone who particularly likes a lot of description in a book but reading about this wonderful heaven that she finds herself in conjured up a magical visual in my imagination. Although the whole story is a fantasy, after all it is told by a girl who is dead, it is thought provoking in a way that gives you some comfort that maybe there is something special waiting when you pass on. I have never been an avid believer and am not committed to a religion but, when you lose people you are close to, you like to think they have gone to a special place. It definitely helped my own grieving process to develop a spiritual perception of life after death.

Like many things, the reviews and critique on this book have been very mixed so I guess it’s not for everyone. I have learned though that reading is personal and subjective so I generally keep an open mind. If reviews are really conflicting then that means that some readers enjoyed the book and I might too.

I do think that hype around books and films can potentially leave you feeling disappointed but I have a different approach. I don’t believe that something has to be incredible to be enjoyed. If I read or watch something that didn’t have a ‘wow’ factor for me but I have nevertheless enjoyed it, then I don’t see that as a failure.

Everyone has two eyes but no-one has the same view.

This is an example, in my humble opinion, of a film which did justice to the book. I still think the book was better but it was always going to be a difficult one to portray and it did lack a little in heart and depth. However, as you might expect from the film’s director, Peter Jackson, it was visually and creatively stunning and the cast was outstanding.

‘The Notebook’ (1996) by Nicholas Sparks

The ultimate love story. The power of true, timeless and immortal love between a man and a woman. A summer romance. A class divide.

It is beautifully written – passionate, poetic, intense, emotional and full of hope.

There are many poignant quotes from Noah, the main character. This is my personal favourite…

“We fell in love, despite our differences, and once we did, something rare and beautiful was created. For me, love like that has only happened once, and that’s why every minute we spent together has been seared in my memory. I’ll never forget a single moment of it.“

I don’t know how anyone could be unmoved by this book. I cried like a baby! Maybe some people would describe it as cheesy, sappy or sickly sweet but they could just be romance cynics. I’m more of a hopeless romantic and I really felt the emotion. I believe that true love comes from being soulmates. Having a connection that goes beyond desire and infatuation to a shared deep and undeniable affinity that bonds you together to infinity.

“A soulmate is someone you can completely be yourself with. Someone with whom you share unconditional love and when you look into each other’s eyes, you know that you are home.” – Arielle Ford (author and life coach).

I have read ‘The Notebook’ twice and also enjoyed the film version which I have also watched more than once!

He said “Books or me?” I sometimes remember him when I’m buying new books….

‘Life After Life’ (2013) by Kate Atkinson

This is a book which straddles history and fantasy. It takes a while to get your head around the idea but I soon became captivated by it. It is the story of Ursula’s life again and again and again by experiencing an endless cycle of birth, death and rebirth. My first thoughts on reading this were to liken it to the movie ‘Sliding Doors’ – a twist of fate depending on the timeline of the situation. This book is all about decisions made by Ursula and how you can influence fate, that one small thing can completely change the course of your life, but there isn’t always a ‘better’ choice. This book has won multiple awards and accolades, including one of the best books of 2013, quite rightly in my humble opinion!

“A great book should leave you with many experiences, and slightly exhausted at the end. You live several lives while reading.” – William Styron (American novelist and essayist).

‘Eleanor Oliphant is Completely Fine’ (2017) by Gail Honeyman

Dealing with themes of isolation and loneliness, this book made me laugh and cry in equal measure and took me on the character’s journey of self discovery.

“Eleanor Oliphant has learned how to survive – but not how to live.

Eleanor Oliphant leads a simple life. She wears the same clothes to work every day, eats the same meal deal for lunch every day and buys the same two bottles of vodka to drink every weekend.

Eleanor Oliphant is happy. Nothing is missing from her carefully timetabled life. Except, sometimes, everything.

One simple act of kindness is about to shatter the walls Eleanor has built around herself. Now she must learn how to navigate the world that everyone else seems to take for granted – while searching for the courage to face the dark corners she’s avoided all her life.

Change can be good. Change can be bad. But surely any change is better than…. fine?”

Eleanor is understated, socially awkward, obsessive compulsive, over formal, judgemental, shockingly inappropriate and has no clue how to interact with the world! It’s easy to assume that she is either on the autism spectrum or merely eccentric. As the story unfolds it all becomes clear and the journey to get there is funny, uplifting and inspiring.

Eleanor’s observational skills are brilliant and she puts her own interpretations on her descriptions. In seeing the world through her eyes, you join her in seeing the absurdity in everyday life around her.

You may need tissues when you read this book but it is also laugh out loud funny at times. There is an equal balance of anguish and humour. I was left feeling humbled by feeling every ounce of the stigmas of society towards anyone who is different and often misunderstood. This is why we should never judge a book by its cover (excuse the pun!) because everyone has their own story and that is the reason they are the way they are.

Never judge another man until you have walked a mile in his shoes.

‘The Five People You Meet in Heaven’ (2003) by Mitch Alborn

*** This is my ‘all-time favourite’ novel ***

“Eddie goes to heaven, where he meets five people who were unexpectedly instrumental in some way in his life. While each guide takes him through heaven, Eddie learns a little bit more about what his time on earth meant, what he was supposed to have learned, and what his true purpose on earth was.”

This book is a deeply thought-provoking, moving and profound account of life after death. Philosophically, it shows how your point of view can change by seeing things in an entirely different way. Written with compassion and sensitivity, it highlights how destructive the feeling of regret can be, providing an antidote for the human conscience and how you can learn to forgive yourself. One review I read described it as ‘heavenly balm for the soul’

Death is not the end. It is the beginning.

This may all sound quite ‘heavy’ but it is actually the opposite. If you love to be happy and feel connected to yourself and the world around you, I highly recommend this book. A friend from a PTA I belonged to lent me this book and I was one of many in the queue to borrow it at the time! My husband and I went on a short break and I read the whole book during the flight to Lanzarote. My husband is not a reader and has only read a handful of novels ever but I said I thought he’d like this one. He decided to give it a go and ended up driving me mad because he became so engrossed I couldn’t get him to put it down! That was in 2011 and the copy was returned to its owner. Years later, I spotted a copy in a secondhand National Trust bookshop and had to have it! It just seemed wrong not to have my favourite book of all time in my treasured collection!

“I won’t buy any more books until I’ve read all the ones I’ve got” I said. Then I laughed and laughed….

‘The Five People You Meet in Heaven’ remained on the New York Times Best Seller list for 95 weeks.

“A good library will never be too neat, or too dusty, because somebody will always be in it, taking books off the shelves and staying up late reading them.” – Lemony Snicket (the pen name of American author Daniel Handler)

If I had to tell you my top ten favourites, the other five (as mentioned in my earlier blogs) would be ‘The Kite Runner’, ‘Where the Crawdads Sing’, ‘A Man Called Ove’, ‘Thanks for the Memories’ and ‘The Island’.

“Reading is like thinking, like praying, like talking to a friend, like expressing your ideas, like listening to other people’s ideas, like listening to music, like looking at the view, like taking a walk on the beach.” – Roberto Bolaño (Chilean novelist, short-story writer, poet and essayist).

Can’t get out of bed. Send help. Or books. Yeah. Just send books. (Part 5 of 6).

“I declare after all there is no enjoyment like reading! How much sooner one tires of any thing than of a book! When I have a house of my own, I shall be miserable if I have not an excellent library.” – Jane Austen (English Novelist).

I went through a phase in the last couple of years where I had the urge to read some literary classics, some for the first time and one or two which were on the curriculum when I was at school. It was really interesting reading these books as an adult, by choice and for pleasure, rather than having to study them. I finally understood what a brilliant book ‘To Kill a Mockingbird’ (1960) by Harper Lee is. With themes of rape and racial inequality, the character Atticus Finch serves as a moral hero. It’s hard not to fall in love with the wonderful characters, particularly the bright, precocious, tomboy Scout who loves to dress in overalls which offends her family and neighbours. Her father Atticus promotes feminist theories by defending her right to wear what she wants and doesn’t force her to act like a lady. Boo Radley is the family’s neighbourhood recluse who children find suspicious and make up stories about. In a bid to help Scout to see Boo Radley’s perspective, Atticus says to her “You never really understand a person until you consider things from his point of view… Until you climb inside of his skin and walk around in it”. In 2006, British librarians ranked the book ahead of the Bible as one “every adult should read before they die“. (Guardian Unlimited).

“Hardship often prepares an ordinary person for an extraordinary destiny.” – C.S.Lewis (British writer, literary scholar, and Anglican lay theologian).

I also re-read ‘The Lord of the Flies’ by William Golding, published in 1954. For those who don’t know or weren’t ‘made to read’ this book at school, this is a haunting tale of a group of school boys who are the sole survivors of a plane crash and become stranded on a desert island. It is highly thought-provoking as it explores how living in a community with no fixed boundaries determines their ideas of community and leadership, their capacity for empathy and hope, and the capabilities of humans for good and evil, reflective of a dystopian society. The characters bring with them a range of themes – bullying, delusions of grandeur, leadership, savagery, nature, loss of innocence and morality. As you would expect from the time it was written it can feel quite dated but in many respects it’s also timeless. Since the release of this book there have been many drama series with similar dystopian themes, such as ‘The Hunger Games’, ‘Lost’, ‘The Wilds’, ‘Yellow Jackets’ and ‘The Society’, mainly around survival and human nature.

“I was always going to the bookcase for another sip of the divine specific.” – Virginia Woolf (considered to be one of the most important modernist 20th-century authors).

‘The Midwich Cuckoos’ by John Wyndham, published in 1957 is a relatively early science fiction novel. Adapted in several ways for film, television and radio (‘Village of the Damned’), it is about parasitic aliens who impregnate the women of one village producing children who have telepathic powers and a form of mind control. As you would expect from a book of the era it was written in, the writing is old-fashioned and a bit dated but you have to appreciate the book for the era it was written in. It was an easy read and I liked it. There was a recent modern day adaptation of the book on Sky TV starring Keeley Hawes and Max Beesley that I enjoyed too.

My favourite of the classics of English literature is ‘Jane Eyre’ (1847) by Charlotte Brontë. I must have only been aged nine or ten when I first read an old copy at my Nan’s house where we had lots of ‘sleepovers’ as children. As a child there is something strangely entrancing about orphans and adversity. I was also around the same age as the title character when I first read the book. Just writing about this book makes me want to read it again!

“I’m just going to write because I cannot help it.” – Charlotte Brontë (English novelist and poet; eldest of the three Brontë sisters).

As an adult, I have occasionally read books primarily aimed at children. I read the first four books in the ‘Harry Potter’ series and, whilst I found these fun and pleasant, I didn’t get swept away with the hype as it developed into a worldwide franchise. By the fourth book I was struggling a bit, hence why I didn’t read the sequels that followed after. I can’t deny how brilliantly they are all written though and believe that the recognition for them is very well deserved.

My children enjoyed books by Dick King Smith, Roald Dahl and Michael Morpurgo, all of which I read to them at various times. I absolutely loved ‘War Horse’ (1982) despite initially reading it out of curiosity. Although written for children, it contains a lot of adult themes and is potentially as appealing, if not more so, to ‘grown-ups’ than children.

‘Stone Cold’ (1993) by Robert Swindells is a young adult novel. The story follows a homeless kid (Link) and the maniacal mass murderer (Shelter) as they both inhabit the same London streets.

“Link has left home because of his vicious step dad and Shelter has set himself the mission of cleansing the streets of the vagrants that doss in the doorways.”

It is written from two narrators and gives an insight into life on the streets, containing many subliminal messages for the teenage mind, such as understanding that running away is dangerous. The way that homeless people are thought of in society and how they are treated is well portrayed, showing the hardships that people without homes and jobs have to face every day. It also helps to open your eyes to all the things in our lives that we take for granted.

“The more that you read, the more things you will know. The more that you learn, the more places you’ll go.” – Dr. Seuss (American children’s author and cartoonist).

I’m not addicted to reading. I can quit as soon as I finish one more chapter… (Part 4 of 6)

I think a lot of books I read are enchanting but not necessarily romantic in the sense of a love story. They are the kind that make you feel a bit warm and fuzzy inside! However, I do love a good romance!

I met up with a friend a few years ago and she handed me a copy of ‘Me Before You’ (2012) by Jojo Moyes and said to me don’t read the blurb on the back, just read it blindly. As tempting as it was to do exactly the opposite I resisted and understood immediately why my friend felt the need to give me that advice.

For all of the reasons above I now feel I shouldn’t give too much away. To be fair, I think most avid readers will know what this book is about but I’m going to play it safe with no spoilers…..It is beautifully written, heartwarming, poignant and magical. It covers some very difficult themes but sensitively and in a way that you are often smiling through your tears. In my case, however, more of a rapid than a river! It is a story that has stuck with me and I know I will remember forever.

‘The Light Between Oceans’ (2012) by M.L. Stedman

“A boat washes up on the shore of a remote lighthouse keeper’s island. It holds a dead man – and a crying baby. The only two islanders, Tom and his wife Izzy, are about to make a devastating decision.

They break the rules and follow their hearts. What happens next will break yours.”

I’m not a fan when the pages of books are filled with minutely detailed descriptions which become a distraction from the story. I thought this book captured the scene perfectly with a good balance of just the right amount to let your imagination do the rest. As a lover of the sea, I really related to the melodic narrative of the rhythm of the tide and the importance of the light to warn the ships at nighttime. It is also a fascinating insight into life in a lighthouse and the responsibilities of the lighthouse keeper, as well as the separation from normal societal everyday life, in this case on a tiny island, just one mile square, 100 miles from the mainland. To a large extent they live self sufficiently with a supply boat only delivering once every three months.

This is a haunting and moving story of loss, love, isolation and the consequences of the choices we make. A moral dilemma about right and wrong and how sometimes they look the same. Is wrong always wrong? Doing wrong for the right reason – can you ever justify blurring the lines between the two? You have to ask yourself, is it always that black and white? The emotions of this book run high and sometimes they are conflicting. It is hard not to feel sorry for Isabelle but at times your conscience might push against your compassion for her.

‘Where the Crawdads Sing’ (2019)by Delia Owens

This is one of those books that draws you in completely. My imagination allowed me to really feel Kya’s character and all her emotions. It is so different and creative, a life that’s hard to envision, almost other-worldly. Enchanting, magical and captivating is how I would describe it. It is a story of abandonment, self-reliance, survival, coming of age and mystery. Set in North Carolina’s coastal marshland (sometimes referred to as ‘wetlands’) it is beautifully written and takes you on a journey through the acres of pine forests, estuaries, bogs and swamps and the wildlife unique to the region. Kya paddles through the waterways daily to look for flora and fauna to add to her personal collection. She is in many ways an uncomplicated soul who, through her sadness, finds joy in such simple things. I couldn’t help thinking that if you’ve never had things in your life, you don’t miss them. She had a passion for nature and art that seemed to surpass the need and desire for a materialistic lifestyle. Touching, thought-provoking, inspiring and full of wonderment. Simply stunning.

‘The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society’ (2008) by Mary Ann Shaffer

Set in 1946 this charming story is told through a series of letters, notes, and journal entries. This style of writing is called ‘epistolary’. It’s a quirky, funny and endearing book.

Juliet is a writer who exchanges correspondence with one of Guernsey’s residents with whom she has a shared interest in a particular author. She discovers that he belongs to The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society and inquires about the group’s name.

“Why did a roast-pig dinner have to be kept a secret? How could a pig cause you to begin a literary society? And, most pressing of all, what is a potato peel pie – and why is it included in your name? “

After learning that the society began as a cover for residents breaking curfew during the German occupation of the Channel Islands during World War II, Juliet then begins to correspond with several other members of the society and decides to go and meet them.

It’s a very interesting insight to life on the island during the war and inspired me to look into it more. The Channel Islands were occupied by the Germans from 30th June 1940 until the end of World War II. Winston Churchill decided that the islands were of little “strategic importance” so the islands were left undefended when the Germans came.

Guernsey was finally liberated on 9th May 1945, five years after the occupation began.

This book combined two of my passions – reading and history – the delights of reading and how the joy of reading can bring people together.

‘Lessons in Chemistry’ (2022) by Bonnie Garmus

I can only describe this book as an absolute delight from start to finish! Despite covering themes of sexual assault, grief, feminism, misogyny and workplace inequality in 1960s America, it is funny, thought-provoking and adorable.

The characters are complex and idiosyncratic and I couldn’t help thinking that nowadays Calvin would have been given a label of some type of neurodiversity!The heroine Elizabeth is a scientist in the 1950s and 1960s trying to prove her value in a male-dominated profession. A female chemist was something rare in the 1960s and she was never taken seriously or given the recognition she deserved. She has been described as “brave, original and completely unafraid” (Cascadia Daily News). Her early family life and relationship with her parents is painful and shaped by tragic and traumatic events. My favourite character is ‘Six-Thirty’, a rescue dog who matches Elizabeth’s intellect and learns 1000 English words, bringing in a fantastical element which is also very funny.

Although occasionally heavy, this is mostly a light-hearted, easy read that brought me great pleasure. Friends who I recommended the book to also thoroughly enjoyed it.

Oh and by the way its publication date was on my birthday! I doubt this interests anyone other than myself….!

“You know you’ve read a good book when you turn the last page and feel a little as if you have lost a friend.”– Paul Sweeney (author).

I often have to refer to a dictionary when I don’t know the meaning of a word that comes up when I’m reading. I can’t just gloss over it and move on, I always feel compelled to look it up. Sometimes it’s a word I’ve heard of but haven’t previously understood the context. I’m not ashamed to admit this as you never stop learning and the more you read, the more expansive your vocabulary becomes. As I often say every day is a school day and you’re never too old to learn something new.

“All the words you need are to be found in the dictionary. All you have to do is put them in the right order.” – Emma Darcy (pseudonym of Australian authors Wendy and Frank Brennan).

History is not a burden on the memory but an illumination of the soul (Part 3 of 6)

Another of my reading interests is historic novels. I’m not a complete lightweight but nothing too heavy either! I’m happy to be educated but as part of a good story rather than a history lesson! Philippa Gregory is great if you like the Plantagenet and Tudor period of history. ‘The Other Boleyn Girl’ (2001) is probably the most well known but she has written a whole series of books relating mainly to the women of the royal families. Similarly Alison Weir writes about English royal women and families of the same period. Her debut novel ‘Innocent Traitor’ (2007) is biographical and written in part diary form telling the tale of Lady Jane Grey, known as the ‘Nine Day Queen’. It is an incredibly sad and emotional account of one of history’s most tragic heroines. The author has been described by critics as “one of our greatest popular historians.”

On a topic of more recent history and set in 20th century China, ‘Wild Swans’ by Jung Cheng is a memoir of three generations of women. Starting with the author’s grandmother who was taken as a concubine to a high-ranking warlord, her mother who, at the age of fifteen, began working for the Communist Party and Mao Zefong’s Red Army and finally the author’s story. The Cultural Revolution started when she was a teenager and she writes of the suffering of the Chinese people and her parents’ struggles as well as her own experiences as a young woman during that time. It is by no means a light read but it is a stunning account of three women trying to navigate and survive pre-communist and communist China.

Overlapping the genres of fantasy fiction and history Matt Haig’s ‘How To Stop Time’ is an original novel about time travel. The main character was born in 15th Century France and suffers from a rare condition where he lives for hundreds and hundreds of years. “The first rule is that you don’t fall in love”, he said. There are other rules too, but that is the main one. No falling in love. No staying in love. No daydreaming of love.” Those who have the condition are watched over by a group called the Albatros Society which protects them and makes sure they keep their longevity a secret from the general public. I won’t spoil it but I love the parts where he finds himself in the company of great characters of history. This is a fascinating, beautiful, moving book about love, loss, loneliness, and adventure.

“What an astonishing thing a book is. It’s a flat object made from a tree with flexible parts on which are imprinted lots of funny dark squiggles. But one glance at it and you’re inside the mind of another person, maybe somebody dead for thousands of years. Across the millennia, an author is speaking clearly and silently inside your head, directly to you. Writing is perhaps the greatest of human inventions, binding together people who never knew each other, citizens of distant epochs. Books break the shackles of time. A book is proof that humans are capable of working magic.” – Carl Sagan (American author, astronomer and science communicator).

‘The Time Traveler’s Wife’ by Audrey Niffenegger follows a similar theme but I have to say I found it a bit of a struggle. I felt it was a bit too long and parts of it were quite tedious. The premise of the book is interesting but I got confused way too often! I thought I would give the film a go but that didn’t float my boat either! I watched it with my husband and he didn’t have a clue what was going on. I remember thinking if I can’t follow it having read the book it’s no wonder he was also baffled by it! In a final attempt to ‘get it’ I watched a TV dramatisation which had mixed reviews. I gave up after a couple of episodes! Don’t take my word for it though, this book has been positively reviewed and highly recommended by many so maybe it just wasn’t for me….

Sometimes I read a book that turns out to be about an historic event that I previously knew nothing about. One such book is ‘The Four Winds’ (2021) by Kristin Hannah. The story is set in the period of the ‘Great Depression’ and the ‘Dust Bowl’ in America, severe droughts that caused devastation to the agriculture and forced communities out of their homes and destroyed their livelihoods. “On April 14, 1935, known as “Black Sunday” 20 of the worst “black blizzards” occurred across the entire sweep of the Great Plains, from Canada south to Texas. The storms caused extensive damage and appeared to turn day to night; witnesses reported that they could not see five feet (1.5 m) in front of them at certain points.” (Ref: Wikipedia). The book focuses on the struggles of a mother and daughter whose strength and resilience is put to the test whichever way they turn after making the impossible decision to leave their home. It’s a wonderful book which frequently led me to look up more facts about this significant and tragic time in American and Canadian history. The classic novel ‘The Grapes of Wrath’ by John Steinbeck is also based on this subject, set in Oklahoma and published in 1939, very soon after the actual events too place.

‘The Island’ (2005) by Victoria Hislop is an historical novel based in Spinalonga, an island which is located in North Eastern Crete. From 1903 to 1957 the island was used as a leper colony. Although the characters are fictitious, the story is based on true events. It’s a fascinating insight into a significant part of Crete’s history, much of it during times of conflict, including two world wars. The sequel ‘One Night in August’ was published in 2020 and it was a nice enough book but it didn’t really compare to the first book.

“For some of us, books are as important as almost anything else on earth. What a miracle it is that out of these small, flat, rigid squares of paper unfolds world after world after world, worlds that sing to you, comfort and quiet or excite you. Books help us understand who we are and how we are to behave. They show us what community and friendship mean; they show us how to live and die.” – Anne Lamott (American novelist and non-fiction writer).

The secret to a balanced diet is a cup of tea in one hand and a book in the other (Part 2 of 6)

Whether it’s fiction, biographical or based on a true story, I love books with human interest. Among my favourites is ‘The War Doctor (Surgery on the Front Line)’ by David Nott (2020), a powerful and intensely moving memoir of an NHS surgeon who volunteered in war zones, operating under the most extreme circumstances. He left the security and stability of his highly paid job as a surgeon in a UK hospital to join the International Medical Corps. He was appointed an OBE in 2012 and received the Robert Burns Humanitarian Award and the Pride of Britain award in 2016. I learned so much from his honest and insightful accounts about the sacrifices that brave people like him make during modern warfare. It is fascinating, eye-opening, harrowing and humbling and it gave me a different perspective on war, medicine and life.

I also found ‘The Prison Doctor’ (2019) by Dr Amanda Brown very interesting. I’ve always found prisons fascinating and love a good prison documentary. Dr Brown trained as a doctor and worked in her own GP surgery but left to join the prison service, working in three prisons over the years. This is a compassionate account of her dealings with devastating events that occurred on a daily basis and true insight into prison life. Hard-hitting but also inspirational, reminding us that these people are human beings and all have a back story which gives you a different perspective compared to the one that first impressions might have given you.

Written in diary form and incorporating the author’s humour, Adam Kay’s ‘This is Going to Hurt’ (2017) is absolute genius! The personal anecdotes are hilarious but at times shocking and heartbreaking! It’s so brilliantly written and captivated me throughout. It also gave me an even greater respect for the junior doctors and other NHS staff.

Among my favourites is ‘The Tattooist of Auschwitz’ (2018) by Heather Morris. Sometimes it doesn’t feel right to describe a story like this as a ‘favourite’ but despite the horror of the situation it tells of immense courage and, among the despair, hope and determination.

“Once you have read a book you care about, some part of it is always with you” – Louis L’Amour (American Novelist)

Other books, that are either biographical/autobiographical or those based on real events but written as fiction, really interest me. It’s good to hear about events that actually happened even if the characters are made up. ‘The Kite Runner’ (2003) by Khaled Hosseini is an historic fiction novel set in the period of the fall of Afghanistan’s monarchy through the Soviet invasion, the exodus of refugees to Pakistan and the United States, and the rise of the Taliban regime. What was interesting for me personally was that my knowledge of events in Afghanistan are very much from the last two decades whereas this story is set in the 1970s and I learned a lot more about the origins of the conflict over there. This is not one for the faint hearted but it does tell the story of an unlikely friendship between two innocent boys from two very different backgrounds. This book is one of my top ten all-time favourites. I also read ‘A Thousand Splendid Suns’ (2007) by the same author, also about an unlikely bond formed between two women in tragic circumstances. However there are some pretty graphic aspects in this book that may test your emotional resilience. It’s gritty but, in my view, it is also very important to be aware of the monstrosities that are still an everyday occurrence in some parts of the world.

Like most children of my era, we read ‘The Diary of Anne Frank’ in school, one of the most famous accounts of the experience of Jewish people during the Second World War. What I didn’t know was that since then there have been a number of versions of this book, revised and edited in different ways. The one read by school children was more age appropriate than later versions. A graphic adaptation was published in March 1995 that caused some controversy – ‘Anne Frank – The Diary of a Young Girl – The Definitive Edition’. In 2018 our children very kindly paid for a trip to Amsterdam for my birthday gift and I went with my husband in June of that year. The first thing I did after they surprised us was to book tickets to go to Anne Frank’s house, knowing what a popular attraction it is and avoiding the disappointment of not being able to get in. Leading up to the trip I bought a copy of the definite edition of the diary and immersed myself in it. The first thing I noticed was how much it reflected any young girl in terms of writing about friendships, boys, her learning and stories about her family. I remember thinking how much more detail there seemed to be, some of it quite trivial considering the circumstances, but adding to the authenticity of Anne’s age at the time. With all the details so fresh in my mind it added so much more to my experience of visiting the secret attic. As we turned the corner to where the house is we heard the chiming of church bells which gave me goosebumps as I remembered Anne writing about that very sound from her hiding place. It is a surreal and sobering experience and also a privilege to be able to visit the exact spot where this terrible situation unfolded. There are quotes throughout the building and I instantly recognised them all from the book. It’s a memory that will stay with me forever.

‘The Beekeeper of Aleppo’ (2019) by Christy Lefteri is a fictional novel based on the author’s experience of volunteering in Athens at a refugee centre. It is a compassionate, powerful and moving story which takes you off into another world and gives an insight into the plight of refugees. It is also a beautiful love story and is testament to the triumph of the human spirit.

‘Angela’s Ashes – A Memoir of a Childhood’ (1996) by Frank McCourt is a sad and bittersweet memoir of growing up in New York in the 1930s and Ireland in the 1940s. With too many children, too little money and an alcoholic husband/father, it is a story of courage and survival against the odds. Despite the adversity it also contains a lot of humour and I found myself ‘reading it in an Irish accent’!

I love this review posted on Amazon:

“First & foremost, this book taught me that there are levels of poverty. For example, there’s regular poverty, Irish poverty, Irish Catholic poverty, and (worst of all) Irish Catholic poverty in the 1940s.”

The same reviewer also included some of their favourite highlights from the book. Here are just a couple of those:

⁃ “As a child, I thought a balanced diet was bread and tea, a solid and a liquid.”

⁃ “All this time, I’ve been saying Jesus, Mary, and Joseph! Evidently, I’ve been saying it wrong. Per the book, it’s…Jesus, Mary and Holy St.Joseph!”

⁃ “Frank’s Mom had a decent sense of humor. Irish Catholic wives were supposed to have children relentlessly. This was her reply after her last baby, Alphie (child no.10!): “Mam says, Alphie is enough. I’m worn out. That’s the end of it. No more children. Dad says, The good Catholic woman must perform her wifely duties and submit to her husband or face eternal damnation. Mam says, As long as there are no more children eternal damnation sounds attractive enough to me.”

‘Philomena’ (2009) by Martin Sixsmith (British author and radio/television presenter) begins in 1950s Ireland and touches on a number of controversial and sensitive themes centred around the Catholic Church, convents for disgraced unmarried mothers, forced adoptions, homophobia, AIDS and a search for truth over many years. Sadly it was a familiar story during a period when women were ostracised by Irish society and often by their own families if they became pregnant outside marriage. To this day, investigations continue into whether or not birth mothers were able to give “full, free and informed” consent for their children to be adopted then, in many cases, such as this one, taken to be raised in America. Steeped in secrecy for seven decades this is just one of many similar stories of the forced separation of mothers and babies, their lives scarred by the forces of hypocrisy on both sides of the Atlantic. I just remember feeling really angry and wound up reading about how these poor women lived in ‘Dickensian’ conditions, often giving birth without the help of a midwife or a doctor and bearing children with a mortality rate in their first year that was five times as high as the country overall.

‘A Piece of Cake’ (2006) by Cupcake Brown is a heart-wrenching autobiography about an eleven year old girl who was orphaned and taken into care (in the USA). This is a particularly poignant subject for me as most of my career has been in Children’s Services and I have a vested interest in children and young people who have suffered childhood trauma and adversity. She was moved from one placement to another, neglected and sexually abused, leading her to a dark world of drug abuse and prostitution to pay for her habits. She experienced the worst of everything life could possibly have thrown at her. You might think ‘why would I want to read that?’ but this story is about her strength and resilience, determination and ultimate triumph in changing her life around. It is an emotional journey and a brutally frank account but also surprisingly funny. Most of all though, it might be the most inspirational book you’ll ever read.

I once read a book called ‘I Choose to Live’ (2005) written by Sabine Dardenne, a Belgian schoolgirl who was the last victim of serial killer Marc Dutroux and one of only two girls who survived. Abducted in 1996, aged 12, she was held captive for 80 days. Inspirational in her strength and determination, she relives her nightmare of sexual abuse (without graphic detail). A moving tale of courage and triumphant survival. Rather than sensationalising the horror, her story is dignified and restrained, and ultimately uplifting. ‘The Dutroux Affair’ shook the whole of Europe and Sabine had three reasons for writing about her experiences –

“I lived through the Dutroux affair from the inside, and all these years I have kept silent about it – about my ‘personal’ Dutroux Affair, my time in the company of the most hated psychopath in Belgium. I need to write this book for three reasons: so that people stop giving me strange looks and treating me like a curiosity; so that no one ever asks me any more questions ever again; and so that the judicial system never again frees a paedophile for ‘good behaviour’.”

I later read ‘Room’ (2010) by Emma Donoghue. This is an extraordinarily powerful story of a mother and child kept in isolation, and the desire for, and price of, freedom. Contrastingly it is a fictional story of abduction. Told through the eyes of a five year old who lives with his mum in a single locked room. They don’t have a key. They are prisoners. Having been born in the room, Jack has never experienced the outside world. His mum has obviously known freedom prior to ‘Room’ and the story shows two different perspectives, from someone who has known freedom and had it taken away and of someone who understands that the world is 11 feet square. It is a very clever insight into the mind of a child who only knows about the outside world from watching the TV.

‘Never Let Me Go’ (2005) by Kazuo Ishiguro (2005) is one of the few exceptions to my avoidance of science fiction novels, although I didn’t really think of it like that when I read it. I would say more of a dystopian novel of an imagined situation. It’s another that’s hard to describe without giving away ‘spoilers’ so I have ‘borrowed’ this ‘blurb’…..

“Kazuo Ishiguro imagines the lives of a group of students growing up in a darkly skewed version of contemporary England. Narrated by Kathy, now thirty-one, Never Let Me Go dramatises her attempts to come to terms with her childhood at the seemingly idyllic Hailsham School and with the fate that has always awaited her and her closest friends in the wider world. A story of love, friendship and memory, Never Let Me Go is charged throughout with a sense of the fragility of life.”

Interestingly Hailsham is just a few miles from where I live so it’s a real place but a fictional boarding school. Also some scenes from the film adaptation (2020) were shot in my home town of Bexhill! I remember the excitement of Kiera Knightly and Carey Mulligan being in town!

“It’s not that I don’t like people. It’s just that when I’m in the company of others – even my nearest and dearest – there always comes a moment when I’d rather be reading a book.” – Maureen Corrigan (American author, scholar and literary critic).

I fell into a book and can’t get up (Part 1 of 6)

I think you’re either a reader or not. As a child my head was rarely out of a book. I took one everywhere we went and could often be found walking along and reading at the same time! My family nicknamed me ‘Bookworm Burgess’ (my maiden name) and from about the age of 10 I was reading James Herbert, Stephen King, Catherine Cookson and Virginia Andrews.

My choice of reading is quite diverse but there are some genres I usually avoid. I’m not a fan of science fiction or fantasy, such as mythical characters, wizards and dragons! However, I often read books which have a fantastical element in that things happen which are unlikely to take place in the real world.

Fall in love with as many books as possible.

I go by a lot of recommendations but sometimes I find I’m not as enraptured by a book as the person who has suggested it was. As I always say, life would be very boring if we all liked the same things and books are a perfect example of that. This happens very rarely for me though. ‘The Miniaturist’ (2014) by Jessie Burton was one such book for me. I thought it was ok but wasn’t sold on the hype. The history of the sugar trade in 17th century Netherlands was interesting but I just thought the whole story was a bit odd! Another one was ‘We Are All Completely Beside Ourselves’ (2013) by Karen Joy Fowler, also recommended to me as one of a friend’s absolute favourites. I don’t want to say too much about it because it’s hard to without revealing ‘spoilers’ but I just found it hard going. To me that doesn’t imply a book isn’t as amazing as other people might think, just a difference in readers’ intellect and capacity for thinking and knowledge.

We often describe a book as being ‘hard to get into’ and patience can really pay off and make you glad that you persevered. I started ‘Atonement’ (2001) by Ian McEwan three times and abandoned it, finally reading and enjoying the whole book on my fourth attempt! I later read ‘On Chesil Beach’ by the same author, which left me feeling a bit flat! It was shortlisted for the Booker Prize in 2007 so I’m guessing I may be in the minority with my views on that one!

Although my reading choices are quite eclectic I am definitely drawn to some particular themes. For example, books where the characters have some form of neurodiversity or special need. The most notable of these was ‘The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Nighttime’ (2003) by Mark Haddon which I read almost 20 years ago. The author claimed “This is not a book about Asperger’s…if anything it’s a novel about difference, about being an outsider, about seeing the world in a surprising and revealing way. The book is not specifically about any specific disorder” Over the years I have read a number of books which fit this description – ‘The Rosie Project’ (2013) by Graeme Simsion (Australian novelist), the first of a trilogy and I’ve read the first two (‘The Rosie Effect’). The books centre around a genetics professor who struggles with relationships and sets out to find a wife. At times it is ‘laugh out loud’ funny and is very cleverly written. I never got round to reading the third book but I hope to one day.

Stop trying to fit in if you were born to stand out.

I would combine these types of books with a ‘feel good’ factor, such as ‘A Man Called Ove’ (2012) by Swedish author Fredrick Backman, ‘Happy Days of the Grump’ (2017) by Tuomas Kyrö (Finnish author) ‘The Hundred-Year-Old Man Who Climbed Out the Window and Disappeared’ (2009) by Jonas Jonasson’ (Swedish) and ‘The Unlikely Pilgrimage of Harold Fry (2012) by Rachel Joyce. Finally ‘What Milo Saw’ (2014) by Virginia Macgregor, written mainly from the point of view of 9 year old Milo Moon who has a degenerative eye condition and sees the world very differently, a protagonist with considerable strengths showing how he perceives and deals with various family problems.

“Reading is the sole means by which we slip, involuntarily, often helplessly, into another’s skin, another’s voice, another’s soul.” – Joyce Carol Oates (American author).

I do have a few favourite authors who rarely disappoint. For many years I’ve enjoyed thrillers by crime writer James Paterson. They are easy, quick reads with short chapters, and get you hooked in very early on. He has a 14 year streak as the most borrowed author in UK libraries which was only very recently broken by children’s author, Julia Donaldson. However, he remains the most borrowed adult author in UK libraries. Some of his bestsellers were made into films , such as ‘Along Came a Spider’ and ‘Kiss the Girls’.

More recently I’ve discovered a lot of good female psychological thriller/crime writers too. Lisa Jewell and Lisa Gardner are easy reads. A few years ago I read a few by B.A. Paris – ‘Behind Closed Doors’ (2016), ‘The Breakdown’ (2017)and ‘Bring Me Back’ (2018) were particularly good. More recently I read Gillian McAllister’s ‘Wrong Place, Wrong Time’ (2021) and I couldn’t put it down! It was a very clever plot full of twists and turns.

I started reading a book about the history of glue. Now I can’t put it down…..!

I love a book with an unexpected but brilliant ending, one that keeps you hooked from start to finish but you actually have no idea what the reality of the storyline is. ‘I Know My Name’ (2017) by C.J. Cooke is one of those books. The brief synopsis of this book is “A woman is washed up on a remote Greek island with no recollection of who she is or how she got there.” I’m not going to say any more about this book as it is difficult to do that without containing spoilers but if you like a thriller/mystery that you can’t put down, I highly recommend this one.

‘Little Fires Everywhere’ (2017) by Celeste Ng is a gripping and insightful read with an intricate plot. Containing themes of class, moral issues, life expectations and interracial relationships, parenting and motherhood, you get the past stories of almost every character in the book, along with complex dynamics and small town politics. The book opens with a shocking conclusion and then goes back in time, unravelling the secrets, lies and unexpected twists that led to it.

‘Paper Palace’ (2022) by Miranda Cowley Heller is a contemporary novel that I got totally lost in. Thanks to the lucid and detailed descriptions creating a tangible atmosphere it was easy to visualise the location, the coastal setting of Cape Cod with its ponds, wildlife and nature. With a hard-hitting back story, complex family dynamics and many engrossing and intriguing layers, I retained a burning curiosity throughout to where this story was ultimately heading. Secrets, love, lies and a summer beach house……

“Does letting go mean losing everything you have, or does it mean gaining everything you never had”

Australian novelist, Liane Moriarty, also writes of friendship, family, secrets and lies. In particular ‘Big Little Lies’ (2014) is funny and poignant and features playground politics and dysfunctional families but at the same time incorporating a darker, more serious side. I also enjoyed ‘The Husband’s Secret’ (2013) and ‘Apples Never Fall’ (2021). The ones I’ve read so far were full of unexpected twists and turns and I definitely plan to read more from this author.

One of my absolute favourites is Irish author, Cecilia Aherne, probably most well-known for ‘PS I Love You’ (2004) and I think I’ve read all but one of her books which was aimed at a teenage audience and is a sequel to one I did read. I’ve loved them all – they are quirky, mystical, spiritual, funny (sometimes hilarious), endearing, wholesome and feel good reads. My favourite though will always be ‘Thanks for the Memories’ (2012) which had a lot of ‘laugh out loud’ moments!

Marian Keyes, also Irish, is another author guaranteed to make you laugh. She covers some very serious subjects but with light humour. ‘Watermelon’ (1995) is definitely my favourite of those I have read.

“A good laugh is sunshine in the house.”- William Makepeace Thackeray (author of ‘Vanity Fair’).

Continuing in the genre of comedy, how can I not mention the series of ‘Bridget Jones’ books? Absolute genius! I remember someone once telling me that they had been sat on a train when ‘Bridget Jones’s Diary’ (1996) was first released and it was full of women reading and chuckling at this book! Described by Gill Hornby (The Times) as “Brilliant . . . any woman who has ever had a job, a relationship or indeed a mother will read it and roar” it is hilarious, addictive and, at the same time, touching. Renee Zellweger portrayed the central character perfectly resulting in the film franchise being a huge success. Over the years, it has been hailed as part of the English pop culture with Bridget Jones being cited as a British cultural icon. She is a character that most of us can relate to in some way – real, ditsy, over dramatic – and someone you’d love to have in your friendship group! Maybe we already all have a ‘Bridget’ in our circle of friends….?!

I’m one of those annoying people who will tell you they’ve read the book and it was better than the film! Sometimes though I have applauded how well a film has portrayed a book. I don’t like it if they change obvious details – ‘PS I Love You’ by Cecilia Aherne (book set in Dublin), and ‘Girl on the Train’ (2015) by Paula Hawkins (book set in London) – both films set in America. I remember when I was reading ‘Girl on the Train’ how it used to remind me of my own commute to London when I would imagine the lives of the people who lived in the suburbs around the railway line. The films were both good though, just different from my expectations.

Sometimes the film is an equal match in enjoyment to a book. I read ‘Life of Pi’ (2001) by Yann Martel and I thought the film was the best 3D movie I’ve ever seen! It was stunning! The book was good but I found some parts of it hard going, such as the religious, spiritual and philosophical aspects. The main theme of the book being the relativity of truth engages you in a highly thought-provoking scenario where you have to decide for yourself what you think the truth really is. Whichever it is, it is neither confirmed nor denied. The book raises questions about the nature of reality and how it is perceived and told.

I also really enjoyed the book and film of ‘Slumdog Millionaire’ by Vikas Swirup, particularly as I’m a fan of Dev Patel who played the central character. Originally titled ‘Q&A’ in 2005, following the release of the film adaptation in 2008 it was renamed. It is a rags-to-riches story about an orphan teenage boy living in the slums of Mumbai. The main part of the novel is divided into 12 chapters. Each chapter tells a story from the boy’s life that explains how he knew the answer to all 12 questions that were asked on the trivia show ‘Who Will Win a Billion?’. Regarded as a ‘sleeper hit’ (slow burner) the film was ultimately awarded 8 Academy Awards, 7 BAFTAs, 5 Critics’ Choice Awards and 4 Golden Globes! Ultimately this book is about destiny versus luck, and personal dedication.

Very late to the party I recently discovered what a wonderful writer Jodi Picoult is! I’ve got a lot of catching up to do but I particularly enjoyed ‘Small Great Things’ (2016). It is the story of one black woman’s fight against racial prejudice. It is hard hitting, thought-provoking and an honest and fearless account of race and colour, made more shocking by the fact it is set in contemporary America. Although it is sensitively written it’s hard not to squirm at the uncompromising and self-righteous viewpoints and the feelings of disbelief that situations such as these could still be happening in current times. A fantastic book.

‘The Secret Life of Bees’ (2002) by Sue Monk Kidd, set in 1964, is a charming, funny, moving and uplifting story during the civil rights era of South Carolina (the Deep South). It centres on 14 year old Lily who lives with her abusive father. After a series of events, Lily leaves town with the African/American maid, Rosaleen, who lives with them. They head to the Boatwright residence where they meet August, May and June, the Boatwright sisters who are the makers of honey. Despite the topics of brutality, racial tensions and mental health, this is a heartfelt and bittersweet coming-of-age story. Each chapter begins with a quotation about bees and beekeeping and links the symbolism of the bees to the story – being organised, living in a civilised community, guidance and the symbol of power in a female community in relation to bees. Don’t be put off by this though, it is an easy read that is beautifully written and warms your heart.

Some books would be described as a ‘feel good’ read but they are not always full of joy and happiness. They are often the opposite of this but tell stories of how people have overcome extreme adversity. Margaret Farrell’s ‘I Am I Am I Am’ (2018) is an astonishing memoir of the near-death experiences that have punctuated and defined her life. It is essentially a story of survival, living and a reminder to us all of life’s blessings.

If you like a ‘feel good’ book you will definitely like ‘How to be Happy’ (2018) by Eva Woods, a wonderful, emotional, heartbreaking, uplifting and life affirming book. Matt Haig’s ‘The Midnight Library’ (2020), a fantasy novel, is a philosophical tale of how it’s never too late to make a change in your life and how we shouldn’t underestimate the difference we make in the lives of others. It also reminds us that our past does not have to dictate our future and how reconsidering our thoughts and decisions can make a huge difference to our path to ultimate happiness. To quote the author on what life is “…acres of disappointment and monotony and hurts and rivalries but with flashes of wonder and beauty.” The thought-provoking themes may not resonate with all readers but, whether or not you want to delve deeply into the intriguing premise of this book, it is a great read.

“A book is the only place in which you can examine a fragile thought without breaking it.” – Edward P. Morgan (American journalist and writer)

‘Mindfulness’ has been the buzzword of our times for a few years now. It is great that, as a society, we are finally giving mental health the attention and recognition it so desperately needs. But more than that, it’s not just about the people who have been diagnosed as a sufferer but acknowledging that we ALL need to take care of our own wellbeing.

“Paying more attention to the present moment – to your own thoughts and feelings, and to the world around you – can improve your mental wellbeing.

Mindfulness involves paying attention to what is going on inside and outside ourselves, moment by moment.

It’s easy to stop noticing the world around us. It’s also easy to lose touch with the way our bodies are feeling and to end up living “in our heads” – caught up in our thoughts without stopping to notice how those thoughts are driving our emotions and behaviour.” (Ref: http://www.nhs.uk)

I’ve got a nice little collection of what I would call philosophical books that are intended to make you feel uplifted and inspired, particularly in times of uncertainty, fear, sadness or grief. Some are basically illustrations and quotes (you have probably already guessed that I love a quote!) and others contain short anecdotes, either about a triviality that most people can relate to or a life lesson/moral code. My collection started with the bestseller ‘The Boy, the Mole, the Fox and the Horse’ (2019) by Charlie Mackesy. The book is a series of illustrations with quotes about kindness and vulnerability. On the surface this book may appear to be unexceptional in its simplicity but it is full of nurturing statements and gentle encouragement on how to be resilient in adversity, weathering a storm and never giving up.

I went through a very challenging time in 2022 and I was overwhelmed by the kindness and generosity of caring friends and family. Amongst the gifts to wish me well were a selection of similar inspirational books. ‘Big Panda and Tiny Dragon’ (2021) by James Norbury is a tale of friendship and hope. Each cute little illustration tells a message, such as “Which is more important?’ asked Big Panda “the journey or the destination?” “The company” said Tiny Dragon. It’s not just a book, it’s a big hug that you can reach for anytime you need it!

“Books are the plane, and the train, and the road. They are the destination, and the journey. They are home.” – Anna Quindlen (American author, journalist and opinion columnist).

Another gift was ‘The Comfort Book’ (2021) by Matt Haig. The best description I have heard of this book and which I think sums it up perfectly is “This book is fresh air. It is a sunset on a summer’s evening, and it is a cold shower on a very hot day. It is a book written to help you understand yourself and it is also a book written to help you heal and appreciate life.” It is a hug, a friend and a reminder that there is always hope.

For the first of what would ultimately be three surgeries and hospital stays for me in 2022, I spontaneously bought myself a copy of ‘The Joy of Small Things’ (2021) by Hannah Jane Parkinson. I anticipated that my nerves and all the distractions on the ward would make it difficult to concentrate on anything too ‘involved’ and thought this book would be a positive diversion for my overwhelmed state of mind. It is the perfect tonic for the stresses of life and depressing news. In short chapters the author talks about small pleasures in life – fresh bedding, re-reading books, a thorough teeth-cleaning, board games, hot baths, hilarious memes, all-day breakfasts – to name a few! You can dip in and out at any point and I can honestly say it was all wholly relatable to me! I am a great believer that some of the simplest things bring the greatest comfort and happiness.

“It is a strange paradox, that many of the clearest, most comforting life lessons are learned while we are at our lowest.”